English Summary of Video (AI):
The video appears to be a comedic monologue or a stand-up comedy routine covering a variety of subjects, some of which include mature content. Below are the bullet-pointed summaries of distinct topics discussed in the video:
- The difficulty of getting back into the dating scene after a breakup, especially at the age of 40.
- Mention of preferring partners who are calm and not too intense, comparing traits to being on weed vs. meth.
- Jokes about the challenges of aging and needing Viagra, making light of erectile dysfunction issues.
- Commentary on the awkwardness around parents discovering their children's sexual activities.
- Advice to younger individuals, Miles specifically, about dating and sexual cleanliness, such as keeping body hair trimmed or waxed.
- A candid and explicit discussion on sexual fetishes, preferences, and personal grooming habits, especially regarding oral sex.
- The dilemma facing individuals dating in their 40s, the pressure to date younger people, and the pros and cons of such relationships.
- Humor about the differences between dating older individuals and those of similar age.
- Anecdotes about experiences with dating services and the superficial aspects of these platforms.
- Personal reflections from "Zero," discussing his career as a musician for 20 years and his journey to financial independence while still providing for his mother.
- Observations on women's roles in e-sports and the lack of female presence and support in the industry.
- Humor surrounding gender stereotypes, particularly the perception of threat on the streets and the call for women to be more assertive.
- Jokes about being a stepdad to a single mom's child and how it compares to the biblical Joseph's role with Jesus.
- Light-hearted conjecture about Jesus' possible personal traits.
Please note that the above summary is based on the translated context provided and it includes mature content as it reflects the nature of the monologue. The summary excludes any mention of engaging with the channel's social media or calls to action such as subscribing or liking the video.
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00:00.0
Buti naka wala ka sa relasyon niya
00:02.0
Buti na lang yan si naka wala ka kay Cici
00:05.0
Doon yung magsisisi
00:06.0
Kailan mo ba si Cici?
00:09.0
It's just that you're funny
00:12.0
Sorry, akala ko kailan mo si Cici
00:14.0
Si Cici ano, chicks yan, chicks
00:17.0
Parang naka meth lagi yun si Cici
00:22.0
Gusto natin yung mga parang naka weed lang, di ba?
00:27.0
Anyway kakabreak ko lang
00:29.0
So ang hirap pumalik ulit sa dating world
00:32.0
Kasi, alam mo yun
00:34.0
Okay yung kagaya ni Jed eh
00:35.0
Na parang may, yan
00:37.0
Yung comfortable ka with her
00:40.0
Tapos ngayon babalik ulit sa dating world
00:44.0
Hindi na tumating kasi ito eh
00:47.0
Kasi yun mo, buti nga
00:48.0
LZ kaya mo si Chusyon, di ba?
00:50.0
With that, yung, ano yun?
00:54.0
Kasi nakapagod na ko yun
00:55.0
Dinila ka muna lang
00:57.0
Dude, Julia, pwede bang ano?
01:02.0
Pag matanda ka, kailangan mo rin ako pumakita
01:04.0
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
01:06.0
In time, you will learn
01:09.0
May girlfriend ka na ba? Anong name mo?
01:13.0
Miles, do you have a girlfriend, Miles?
01:17.0
Practice mo muna sa ulan
01:19.0
Andito ang nana yan
01:25.0
Huwag may edges ang pagungunas mo
01:28.0
Kasi yung mami mo yun
01:31.0
Minsan yung mami ko, akala ko di niya alam yun
01:34.0
Alam mo, yung tabut mo na naman
01:37.0
Pwede mong gumamit ka ng tissue
01:40.0
Ikaw man, saan mo ginagawa?
01:48.0
Pero, wala mo sa damit, huwag sa damit
01:50.0
Kasi malalaman ang mami mo yun
01:52.0
Dati, ginagawa ko sa damit eh
01:53.0
Akala ko hindi na na mami ko kuha na yun
01:56.0
Buti pa si Doug, alam niya
01:59.0
Kaya niyang gawin lagi yun
02:02.0
Bakit mo ako binibidyo eh?
02:10.0
Ilang taon ka na ba, Miles?
02:13.0
Wala ka pang girlfriend
02:16.0
Bidibigyan ng advice ng mami mo about dating
02:20.0
Huwag ka man, huwag ka mong kinikiss sa kanya
02:22.0
Okay, gawin mo na yung gusto mo
02:25.0
Sino pinagchatcha ko lang mo?
02:30.0
Hindi, Instagram to Instagram
02:33.0
Noong araw, akala ko
02:34.0
Alam mo ba, ngayon ang pinagchatcha ko lang ngayon
02:36.0
Hindi na yung porn site, Instagram ngayon
02:41.0
Wala naman yung loob
02:42.0
Di pa lang buhok na yung tiny bar
02:47.0
Ano ba yung doubt mo yan?
02:50.0
Akala ko babae siya
02:53.0
Wala, medyo gusto niya ito, no
02:54.0
Dick on dick relationship
02:59.0
Pero ayoko nang bumalik sa dating scene ngayon
03:02.0
na foreign ina ko
03:03.0
Kasi ang hirap, ang hirap
03:04.0
Mag, mag, mag hook up sa
03:07.0
And hindi na-over sa akin yung mga gaya ni Kat, di ba?
03:09.0
Sino kung nag-date kami ni Kat?
03:11.0
Automatic bastard, di ba?
03:13.0
Kasi ang gusto ni Kat ngayon, mga
03:15.0
Taas standard mo, di ba?
03:22.0
Ano yung mga red flag mo?
03:25.0
Musikero, ano ba?
03:33.0
Yung red flag yung nagda-drugs
03:35.0
Kasi hindi ko drugs ko, di ba?
03:37.0
Kasi hindi ko drugs
03:38.0
LSD yung gusto ko matikman ngayon
03:40.0
Kasi parang, creativity ako
03:46.0
Sa tai ng kalabaw
03:53.0
Pero yun yung predikament ko ngayon
03:58.0
Kailangan, kailangan bata
04:01.0
Kasi na-outu mo yung bata, di ba?
04:04.0
Kaysa yun yung bata
04:05.0
Wala pang alam sa buhay
04:06.0
Pero anu mo, parang courts na ito eh
04:09.0
Parang ginagawa ni Julia
04:12.0
Kailangan lang, galingan mo yung pag-angpas naman
04:14.0
Kasi di pa niya alam yun eh
04:19.0
Tapos dating yung younger eh
04:22.0
Alam mo na yung bullshit ko, di ba?
04:23.0
Parang, alam mo na yung ginagawa mo, pre
04:26.0
48 laws of power yun
04:29.0
Robert Greene yung shit mo
04:35.0
Pili ko na lost ko na kayo, di ba?
04:37.0
Anyway, ito lang yun ah
04:38.0
Kung makikipag-date kayo ulit
04:41.0
Ahitin niyo yung mga buhok niyo sa pwede
04:45.0
May mga guys kasi na minsan mahili mag-badila ng pwede
04:49.0
Minsan fetish ko yun eh
04:51.0
Kayo din yung amin, masarap, masarap, masarap
04:53.0
Dil-dilangan yung pwede mo
04:58.0
Wax lang sana, di ba?
05:04.0
Si Miles, di ba niya sponsoring yun?
05:05.0
Kasi wala pa siyang buhok sa pwede
05:06.0
Pero Elsie, di ba?
05:08.0
Sana minsan kung gusto mong i-BJ ka ni Julia
05:15.0
Kasi problema ko ngayon eh
05:19.0
Yung poor neck eh
05:20.0
Minsan fetish ko yun eh
05:21.0
Gusto mong mag-sasabihin sa akin ng parang
05:23.0
Haba ng buhok mo sa pwede
05:29.0
Okay lang yung ganyan eh
05:31.0
Isinomong yung ganyan sa pwede
05:41.0
Yun lang, yun lang
05:42.0
Saan pwede magpawax ng ano?
05:46.0
Maniwala kayo pa nag-wax kayo
05:53.0
Asin, labas ka agad
05:55.0
Gusto nyo ba yung may buhok kayo sa pwede, di ba?
05:57.0
Imagine nyo yung rug
05:59.0
Lagyan yung peanut butter yung rug
06:04.0
Sobrang disgusting, di ba?
06:07.0
So yun lang, so yun lang
06:09.0
Tips para sa guys
06:14.0
Nakulat ka ba, Hazel?
06:19.0
Pero yun yung mga basic things
06:20.0
Na kailangan natin malaman
06:21.0
Yung pinag-uusapan yun
06:22.0
Yung mga fetishes
06:25.0
Ikaw, katanong fetish mo
06:32.0
Paminsan-paminsan
06:33.0
Paminsan-paminsan
06:35.0
Ayun, nakikita mo nga
06:36.0
Monoproma na siya
06:45.0
Kainin mo yung butt ko, gano'n
06:53.0
Basic yung sex sa relationship
06:57.0
Akala ko pera-pera lang eh
06:59.0
Kahit na wala akong pera, di ba?
07:01.0
Pero minsan kailangan mong kainin din yung puwet niya
07:03.0
Kung gusto mong pakain yung puwet mo eh
07:06.0
Parang lost ko din mapping yung miles
07:09.0
Food Taste Comedian
07:14.0
Ayumtong piagam to
07:17.0
Ano bang mundo ito?
07:18.0
Pero yung nga sa Pedro
07:19.0
Minsan, yung mga laking all out, di ba?
07:25.0
Dog, ano bang gusto mo d'yan?
07:26.0
Ano ba gusto mo sa kanya?
07:28.0
Parehas kayo may tite
07:36.0
Si Mike mas magaling pa sa akin
07:39.0
Ang mga bali ka sabihin ko
07:46.0
Ikaw ba may boyfriend ka ngayon?
07:50.0
Usually, fuck body
07:51.0
Fuck body lang, di ba?
07:53.0
Parang rouse na ako
07:56.0
Kaya, Elsie, salamat
08:03.0
May script ba kayo?
08:04.0
Nag-roleplaying ba kayo?
08:15.0
Pagtumanda ka naman, alam mo
08:17.0
Mag-re-recall itong moment na pang
08:24.0
So, yun lang, yun lang
08:25.0
Respaw ka lang, okay?
08:30.0
Alam mo, explicit lyrics ka pala
08:36.0
Zero, you have to stand up
08:42.0
Malaking pagkakamali
08:43.0
Ang pagkawal kay Chris
08:47.0
Irapunan ko si Chris
08:50.0
Si Chris, high level eh
08:51.0
Netto call na sa crowd eh
08:53.0
Kasi may script lang ako eh
08:55.0
So, anyway, ako pala si Zero
08:58.0
42 years old na ako
09:00.0
Tapos mga 20 years na ako
09:02.0
Sa music industry
09:05.0
I work hard for the money
09:06.0
Tapos sobrang sipat ko
09:11.0
I don't live with my parents
09:14.0
Accomplishment yun
09:15.0
If you don't live with your parents
09:18.0
My mom lives with me
09:21.0
Pero hindi, hindi, hindi
09:22.0
Bahay ko talaga yun
09:26.0
Talagang Zero de Leon
09:29.0
Talagang she lives with me
09:33.0
Sa akin talaga yung bahay
09:34.0
I take care of my mom
09:35.0
Kahit siya nagbahay ng bahay
09:39.0
Pero may babi naman
09:40.0
Di naman ako walang kwenta
09:42.0
Di naman ako walang kwenta
09:43.0
Kasi pumula yung kotse
09:46.0
Kotse, sarili kong pera
09:48.0
May Mercedes Benz dyan
09:49.0
The brown, vintage
09:57.0
Lester CCO de Leon
10:01.0
90 kopong-kopong car
10:02.0
Pero pera ko talaga yun
10:05.0
Na binagay sa akin ng nanay ko
10:12.0
Para may kwenta talaga ako
10:13.0
May bawi naman ako
10:15.0
Pag nag-grocery kami
10:16.0
Pwede niya kunin lahat
10:17.0
Lahat ang gusto niya
10:20.0
Credit card ko yun
10:22.0
Lahat ang gusto niya
10:24.0
Siya rin magbabayad
10:29.0
20 years nga akong musikero
10:30.0
Imingin mo wala akong pera
10:32.0
So anong tawag mo sa musikerong mayaman?
10:38.0
Musikerong may mayaman na nanay
10:44.0
Musikerong mayaman
10:46.0
Or musikerong may mayaman na nanay
10:50.0
Nakaka-relate ako kay Chris
10:51.0
Kasi mahirap nga mag-date
10:56.0
So nagka-girlfriend akong Def
10:57.0
So yun mahirap yun
10:58.0
Kasi miscommunication eh
11:02.0
If you don't know me
11:03.0
If you don't know me kasi
11:05.0
Hard of hearing din ako
11:08.0
Disability din ako
11:10.0
So I don't listen
11:16.0
Nung dinate kong girlfriend
11:20.0
Sarap siya ngayon
11:25.0
Throw ko ngayon konting sign
11:29.0
Anong sign language to
11:44.0
Kumakantot ka ba sa ilong?
12:00.0
Pero dalawang kamay yan eh dalawa
12:04.0
Saan president to?
12:06.0
President to Busan
12:08.0
President talaga yan
12:12.0
Pero may advantage
12:13.0
May advantage ang Deaf Girlfriend
12:15.0
Magaling kami sa charades
12:17.0
Sobrang galing namin sa charades
12:21.0
Nabasa pa lang niya
12:27.0
Parang pag normal ng tao
12:28.0
Hindi mo makukuha yung pink elephant
12:30.0
Kasi parang parang may
12:32.0
Kaano yung pink elephant diba?
12:34.0
Tapos yung next parang
12:36.0
Handsome president
12:39.0
Diba parang handsome president
12:41.0
Pero pag normal ka
12:42.0
Parang may isasign ng handsome president
12:52.0
Sobrang galing ng charades namin
12:54.0
Pero may flow yung charades eh
12:56.0
Yung flow ng charades
12:57.0
May round ko pala
12:58.0
Yung ako na yung nag action
13:00.0
Tapos siya na yung nagsasalita
13:03.0
So parang ako na nag action
13:17.0
It's nice to be woke
13:20.0
Pero kasalanan yung babae
13:21.0
Kaya kasalanan naman
13:23.0
Kasalanan yun na hindi tayo equal
13:31.0
Hindi men's and women's yan
13:33.0
Anyone can be an e-sports player
13:35.0
Ilan yung babae sa e-sports?
13:38.0
Kaya nyo naman mag e-sports
13:39.0
Mag Starcraft kayo
13:44.0
Sino yung fans ng girl na yan sa e-sports?
13:48.0
Sino yung fans ng guy sa e-sports?
13:51.0
Kasi supportive kami
13:52.0
Talagang girl guy support
14:00.0
Sino yung support kay Ronda Rousey?
14:04.0
Kasalanan nyo na hindi kayo nagsusupport
14:06.0
At hindi kayo sukasali
14:11.0
May unequality rin sa
14:18.0
Dapat mas maging kupal ang mga babae
14:23.0
To walk on an alley
14:25.0
Na threatened ako
14:27.0
Baka may mga nakoban na babae dyan
14:29.0
Nagmahilom ng gin
14:33.0
Kasi paglalakay parang ilong ganun
14:35.0
O tapos lang diba?
14:36.0
Gusto ko yung parang
14:43.0
Oye ilong ka dito bogey
14:44.0
Oye saan ka pupunta bogey?
14:48.0
Unless na maging kupal kayo
14:49.0
Magsupport kayong women
14:56.0
Ano pa ba't joke ko?
14:58.0
Ang hirap ang stand-up gagyo
15:03.0
Nag-date na akong single mom
15:15.0
Stepdad ka lang eh
15:17.0
So parang yung respect sayo
15:18.0
Hanggang dito lang eh
15:26.0
Baka ganun din si jesus
15:31.0
Ganto si jesus eh
15:32.0
Pag umuwi sa bahay
15:36.0
Bakla pa na si jesus
15:38.0
Pero you don't know
15:45.0
Hindi naka girlfriend
15:47.0
Nagkagawin yung alak
15:49.0
Mahilig sa foot massage
15:53.0
So we wouldn't know
15:55.0
So ganun siya parang
16:02.0
That's my sense guys
16:04.0
Needs more practice
16:17.0
Gusto mo mag set?