Aljur Abrenica Reveals Why His Marriage Didn't Work | Toni Talks
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ang pinag-uusapan natin about anak.
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Tsaka nag-approach ako sa'yo noon.
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Naaalala ko in that time,
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yung pag-iisip ko noon, kinakabahan ako
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sa pagiging isang tatay.
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So anyone that I can talk to, talaga nilalapitan ko,
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nagtatanong ako ng advice.
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At nagtanong ako sa'yo noon.
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Noong 24, 25 siya,
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nagkaroon siya ng quarter life crisis.
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So imagine, you're going through a quarter life crisis
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and a year or two, you became a father.
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Tama nga, bigla mo kong kinrush ka agad na,
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oh nga, lahat nangyari yun.
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Quarter life crisis,
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tas naging tatay.
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konting ano lang, hindi na sa'yo,
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hindi lang ikaw na nabubuhay.
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Nabubuhay ka na para sa iba bigla.
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Hindi mo na pag-aari yung buhay mo,
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kasi kailangan mo na mabuhay para sa mga anak mo.
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Celebrities are actually very open now
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with what they're going through
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on their personal life when it comes to
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being in the industry,
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growing up in the industry, being in the public eye.
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Ikaw naranasan mo yun nung...
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24 years old ako.
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Nagsimula yan sa ano eh,
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sa namimiss ko na yung mga
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special loved ones ko.
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Ibat-ibang tao na yung
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influence na dumarating sa buhay mo.
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hindi mo na sila nasa sala.
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So all in all, parang
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nawawala na yung pagkatao mo.
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Hindi mo na kilala yung sarili mo.
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Alam ko yung sinasabi mo. At one point, parang kinain ka na
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ng showbiz. Umiikot na yung mundo mo doon.
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Pero lucky enough na
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we're lucky enough na pinagdaanan natin yun.
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Hindi, dadaan lahat talaga.
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Ikaw kasi nakikita ko na
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napaka, ang swerte
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pa rin natin na pinagdaanan natin yun.
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Kasi, di ba, ang dami kong natutunan dun.
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But yun nga lang,
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in the journey of pursuing your dreams,
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along the way, you sometimes
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tend to lose yourself.
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That is the price.
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The price of fame, the price of
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being a public figure.
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Parang feeling mo, meron
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ng sense of ownership
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yung public sa'yo. So, wala
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na yung privacy. Parang lahat
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nagiging parte. So,
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hindi mo siya na... So, paano mo hinandal
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yung sa'yo? Kinaquit ko yung social media.
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hindi ko siya tinitignan.
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Ano ang pinakamisconception sa'yo
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ng tao? Babayaro.
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Yun ang tingin sa'yo ng mga tao, pero alam mo sa sarili mo,
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hindi ka ganun. Hindi ako magbayo.
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Paano ka ba magmahal? Pag i-describe me.
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Ginibigay ko talaga lahat.
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anything that I can think of
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that will make her happy,
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But still, may mga pagkakamali
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hindi pa ako ganun kamatur.
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May pagkakamali mo bang yun?
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Did you experience cheating on a girl?
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May ganun pagkakamali nung bata ka?
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Everything that you do
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Kung anong ginawa mo
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You get what you give.
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At wala kang takas dun.
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At wala kang takas.
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So, na-experience mo naman yun?
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Naranasan mo na rin ba yung ma-heartbroken
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in a relationship?
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Napaiya ka na ng babae?
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Dahil beses na ako.
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Na-experience mo na ba na someone cheated on you?
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Ano yung feeling being on the other end?
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parang there's no life.
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Wala ka ng buhay.
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Hindi ka na magising na maaga.
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Part of you dies.
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It's worse talaga.
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You just turned 33.
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You've experienced being married.
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And then you became a father.
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what happened to the marriage?
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Ano na yung status
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ng heart mo ngayon?
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Wala kasi ako ano eh.
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kung anong gusto nalang isipin.
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wala akong sagot dyan.
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Mahirap yung dinana ko.
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Dun sa marriage mo?
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Kasi binuo ko yun eh.
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Bilang isa lalaki.
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So, mga time na yun,
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binabatikos tayo ng mga taong
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nangyayari yun, syempre that's normal.
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what's the most important thing to do right now?
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Hindi na talaga eh.
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Hindi na mag-over?
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what's the most important thing to do right now
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is spend my time with my kids.
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And how can I spend my time with them?
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How can I be a good father?
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When you look at your kids,
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minsan ba naisip mo na
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you feel sorry na
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you weren't able to give them
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a complete family when you see them?
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Naisip mo ba yun?
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kid's dream na buo yung pamilya.
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I'm so lucky kasi,
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I'm lucky enough to, privileged enough
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bata, it teaches you
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to be a better man.
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Nag-change talaga yung buhay ko.
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Nagkaroon ako ng anak.
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na bago ang dalawang bata?
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Simple. Nagkaroon ng
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sigla yung buhay ulit.
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Sets your priorities.
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Kakaroon ka ng direction.
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It gives you a deeper purpose in life.
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Especially faith.
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Nakakatuwa yung anak ko si Alas.
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Nagdarasal kami ni Alas.
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I was asking God, asking for this and that.
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How can I get this?
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Nak, anong gusto mo?
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Papa, gusto ko, love ko si God.
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Yun yung gusto ko.
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Gusto ko, love ko si God.
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Kasi Papa, si God yung gumawa ng beach.
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Siya yung gumawa ng bahay.
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Siya yung gumawa ng mga tao.
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Siya yung gumawa ng mga dinosaur.
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Siya yung gumawa ng mga tubig.
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we're not gonna ask for anything.
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Gusto ko lang, love ko si God.
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That's gratefulness, as simple as that.
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Parang, uy, nahit ako.
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You have to be grateful too.
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Wow. Coming from a kid na
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five-year-old kid na gano'n siya.
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Ganon yung pananaw niya.
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Hindi siya humingi ng material na bagay.
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Sapat na sa kanya na mahal niya si God.
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Naniniwala ka ba dito?
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the best thing a father can do
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is to love their mother.
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Naniniwala ako dito.
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You still have that love for the mother of your kids.
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Hindi na makawala yun.
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Every now and then,
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you can love a person naman
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Pagmamahal, kasi hindi mo siya mapap...
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Siya makakonvert.
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It just so happen na hindi na talaga.
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Hindi na mag-awork?
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It's not meant to be?
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Or hindi na compatible?
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There are other ways to make it work.
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Like co-parenting.
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I watch over them.
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And make sure that
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I am responsible.
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I'm getting better to be
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na masustentuhan yung
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kailangan kong sustentuhan.
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And capable of this.
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Na maging capable ako,
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na maging disiplinado ko enough to
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organize everything to have more time.
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Time that I can give them.
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Kung anong matutunan ko.
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Anong natutunan mo sa marriage?
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Kasi na-experience mo na yung marriage.
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Yung mga pinaka-importante sa marriage
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is the preparation.
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You have to be prepared.
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Don't jump into it right away.
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You have to be prepared mentally.
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So hindi ka ba prepared
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noong time na yun?
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That time, I think I was prepared.
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Pero looking back now, hindi.
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Akala mo lang prepared?
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Realize mo na lang.
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Prepared talaga. Confident ka.
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Pero ngayon pag-iisipin ko,
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after itong separation namin,
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Co-parent talaga.
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Mas okay kayong co-parent?
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May mga ganun. May mga, di ba,
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nakikita natin yan na mas okay sila apart
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Mas nagbawork yung
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pagpapalaki nila ng anak
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na hindi sila magkasama.
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Ganun yung sa amin ni Kylie.
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Much better pag hindi kami magkasama
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pag parenting lang.
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Alam mo ba ang iniisip ng mga tao?
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The reason why your marriage fell apart is because you cheated.
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Anong reaksyon mo pag yun ang
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The reason why your marriage fell apart is because
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Yeah, totoo naman.
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Ina-admit ko yun may pagkakamali ako.
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Ano yung may masasabi mong biggest mistake mo
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The biggest mistake na ano ko is hindi ako
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nagkaroon ng time sa kanila.
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Nung nagkaroon ako ng takot na
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Nawalan ako ng oras so nawala yung
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iisipin nila. Ang bata mo pa, you're still
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so young. You have all the time
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in the world to make up for those
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mistakes. For all the lost time na
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nawala. Diba, everyday
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may chance kang mag-make up
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patunayan ulit yung sarili mo.
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May chance ka na ipakita
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na hindi, babawi ako sa kung ano
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man yung pagkakamali ko.
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Masasabi ko, I did.
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Masasabi mo ba na you did
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everything that you could
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to save your relationship?
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Nagawa mo yung part mo.
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Nagawa mo yung part mo pero.
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May hirap siya kasi hindi na talaga mag-work.
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You come up to the
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may realize mo na
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I have to accept this. Hindi na talaga.
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Kasi ginawa ko na lahat.
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Ginawa niya rin lahat. Fair niya siya.
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Sinong nag-walk away sa relationship?
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Is it you or her?
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It's mutual. Mindalo ako.
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So anong status ng puso mo ngayon?
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Sapat in what way?
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Sapat lang. Sapat sa
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pagmamahal sa sarili ko.
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Sapat sa pagmamahal ko sa
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panganon, sa mga anak ko.
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Sa lahat ang maimportante yung buhay.
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Tao sa buhay ko. Sapat.
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Hindi labis na kulang.
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Sapat ba yan for the new love of your life?
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Sapat ako. Okay ako.
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And I don't want to
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May curiosity yung public about your private life.
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Gusto nilang malaman.
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Ako kasi pag ganyan.
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Pag ayaw akong pag-usapan.
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I just stay quiet.
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Timit na lang ako.
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For now kasi ito na lang.
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Yung energy ko binibigay ko
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sa what's more important.
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So ano yung important ngayon sa'yo?
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Ako bilang sa sarili ko,
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ang mas importante sa akin ngayon
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talking about this and
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yung ganyang mga speculation.
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Naisip ko saan kami pupunta ng mga.
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Naischedule ko saan kami pupunta ng mga anak ko
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Kasi I only have that time for them.
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Nang minsan hindi ko pa nabibigay kasi
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may mga trabaho pa.
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Yun yung mga iniisip ko.
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Paano ko uuyan yung oras ko sa kanila?
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I put my energy there.
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Hindi mo nilang pinapansin
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yung opinion nila.
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Mas pinapansin mo nilang yung importanteng.
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Maramdamin talaga ako eh.
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bagay sa buhay mo na lang ang pinagtutunan mo.
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Ang iniisip ng tao
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manhida ako pero hindi maramdamin talaga ako.
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Lahat na nababasa akong masakit yan.
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Kaya hindi ako nagbabasa.
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Alikilala ko yung sarili ko.
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So I put my effort
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and time sa mas importante
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Sa halimbawa malaki na yung mga anak mo
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mapanood nila yung mga interviews mo.
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Syempre maraming perception and
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misconception sa iyo ng tao.
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But if there's one thing na gusto mong malaman
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sa anak mo about you?
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Nanda din nila hindi perfecto ang tao.
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nagkakamali. Pero
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pag gusto kong malaman nila na
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when it comes to making decisions.
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I'm doing my best.
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that I can live my life
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na kahit mali yung mga naging desisyon
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papa ninyo hindi siya
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stagnant. I will always
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Pero hindi ako perfecto.
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You're trying to do your best
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Let's just say na
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nagkamali ako sa buhay.
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during those times.
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And I made this decision na
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nawalan ako ng time sa kanila.
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Ang choice ko niyan.
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Makapag-provide that time.
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looking back hindi siya tama.
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So ngayon ano yung best na
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tinatry mo for your kids?
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You want to be the best in what?
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I want to be the best
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version of myself.
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Version of myself
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They will always look up to you.
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And they will have this best example
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tatay dahil lalaki sila.
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I have to accept the fact na talagang
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hindi na kami magkasama.
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ang mangyayari kasi,
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I have to be always the best
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hindi na kami magkasama kasi
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ang isipin ko ba, maglulugmog ba ako doon?
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Hindi na kami magkasama?
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Papadala ba ako doon?
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O tanggapin ko na lang yung
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ito na lang yung kaya ko.
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Ito yung mga pwede ko panggawin.
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Yan na lang gagawin ko.
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So yan na lang gagawin ko.
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Pinaka-importanteng bagay
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sa'yo ngayon at pinaka-importanteng
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tao sa buhay mo ngayon ay?
