An Asexual Man and A Sexual Man Meet and Talk | Filipino | Rec•Create
00:27.0
I'm Jake Manahan, and my sexuality is I'm straight.
00:30.3
Asexual for me is just someone who lacks
00:33.3
or has little to no attraction to other people.
00:36.1
Sexual attraction.
00:37.2
The act of sex basically is intimate for me.
00:41.5
It really helps me express myself and who I am.
00:44.5
Alam ko na na parang medyo hindi ako normal.
00:47.4
Like, ever since I was a kid,
00:49.2
di ba pag-guys nanonood ng sensitive videos?
00:53.2
Tapos pag napapanood ko siya,
00:54.8
parang hindi ko alam ano yung nafe-feel,
00:57.0
parang hindi ko alam ano yung nafe-feel,
00:57.0
nang sexual people towards it.
00:59.0
I've learned about it nung senior high,
01:01.2
and I was like, huh? May ganun?
01:03.4
I really wanna learn more about
01:06.3
what made them gravitate towards asexuality.
01:13.5
Alright, I'm Jake.
01:17.5
I'm 32, and I study in Mapua.
01:19.9
I'm 20. I'm studying in LaSalle.
01:22.2
Since alam ko na sexual ka,
01:24.2
plus taga-Mapua ka pa,
01:27.0
yung sub-body count mo,
01:30.6
Para three per year, di ba?
01:32.3
Feeling ko hetero ka.
01:35.5
Nakaka-apat ka na na girlfriend.
01:38.4
Since you're quite young then,
01:39.6
you're not the type of person na date to marry.
01:42.4
Think you're just having fun now.
01:44.7
I guess you, I assume na
01:47.0
you swing the other way.
01:51.5
I assume na you haven't been in a relationship?
01:55.8
I guess I assume na...
01:56.8
na you haven't watched porn.
02:05.2
Never have I ever been turned on.
02:10.5
Ako, I guess, experience is like
02:12.5
sometimes I also get turned on with like random things.
02:17.4
Nakaka-turn on ang smell.
02:20.1
Hindi ka siya na-feel.
02:22.4
Tinitigasan lang ako pag naiihina talaga ako.
02:26.4
Never have I ever had car sex.
02:32.0
Isang beses lang or medyo marami na rin?
02:35.6
A few times lang.
02:37.0
Never have I ever been in love.
02:40.8
Yeah, I've been in love.
02:42.6
Define your first love.
02:44.3
It was a rollercoaster.
02:45.5
May daming ups, pero may daming down downs.
02:53.4
First, masasabi kong love siya
02:55.8
because I really like the person.
02:57.8
Sobrang talino niya.
03:00.7
She makes me want to be a better version of myself.
03:04.3
Parang hindi ako nagsusulat talaga
03:07.4
pero kasama siya sa school publication namin.
03:09.5
So, sumali rin ako.
03:11.7
So, ano lang siya.
03:12.6
High school, high school love.
03:15.5
Never have I ever hooked up with someone
03:21.2
Oo, I haven't been.
03:23.8
Parang if you're going to do it, you have to.
03:25.8
You have to do it with someone you know na.
03:29.0
Getting to know the person is...
03:30.2
Hindi ko malamang if nandito-turn na na ko hindi.
03:37.1
Ay, so this is yung photo na pinili ko.
03:40.7
Yung picture na to kasi.
03:43.0
I went out by myself.
03:44.9
I went dun sa Presidential Car Museum.
03:47.3
Dati kasi I was like car kid.
03:50.7
That's so straight male of you.
03:52.8
I think straight males like cars.
03:55.8
So, that's a stereotype.
03:57.6
Sa akin, this one.
04:00.6
It's an awarding.
04:01.9
It's my photo with my mom and my dad.
04:04.1
Birthday ni Papa nun.
04:05.8
So, parang wala naman akong money to buy stuff, gifts for him.
04:10.6
So, parang yung win na yun na yung parang gift sa kanya.
04:14.2
Hala, super love ko sila.
04:16.1
Feeling ko, parang si Vice ganda.
04:17.8
Nagsabi siya na parang kaya raw siya ba din kasi feeling niya wala siyang mamamahal na tao.
04:22.6
Na babae, kumpara sa mother niya.
04:24.5
So, parang feeling ko.
04:25.1
Baka wala akong nakikita ng taong mas mamahalin ko compared sa father and mother ko.
04:30.4
Baka asexual ako.
04:38.1
When did you first realize you were asexual?
04:41.1
Na-realize ko yung na nag-identify na talaga ako sa asexual.
04:45.6
Like 12 years old ako.
04:48.2
Kasi doon ko na-encounter yung term na asexual na.
04:51.3
Parang ever since hindi na ako nag-shift away from that term.
04:56.0
Kasi, kaya tinatry kong mag-explore.
05:01.6
Sir, where did you learn the concept of asexuality?
05:04.0
Kasi, galing ako sa elementary na super auntie ng people.
05:08.6
Like, 9 lang kaming grade 6.
05:11.0
Nung pumunta ako ng high school, parang everyone's trying different things.
05:15.2
Tapos hindi ko mak-imagine yung sarili ko na ginagawa yun.
05:18.2
So, parang iniisip kong something wrong with me, ganyan.
05:22.5
Parang nakakall ako na parang,
05:24.1
baka bading ka lang, ganyan.
05:26.1
Baka kasi hindi ka into girls.
05:28.1
Pero hindi rin ako nakakapili ng ganun to guys.
05:30.7
Sobrang weirded out ko.
05:31.9
Kasi hindi ko alam kung ano ba ako.
05:33.9
So, active ko siyang hinanap.
05:35.9
Tapos doon ko na-found out kung ano yung term na asexual.
05:39.9
Sabi ko, ah, baka ako to.
05:42.6
So, parang like browsing through the internet, gano'n?
05:45.0
Oo, browsing through the internet.
05:46.2
Ano yung keywords na ginagawa mo sa Google?
05:48.2
Parang ano lang, person without lust.
05:52.1
Person who don't feel,
05:53.2
who don't like sex.
05:54.5
People who don't like sex.
05:57.0
Para sa'yo, do you see sex as a necessity?
05:59.9
Yeah, I feel like it is a necessity.
06:02.2
It spices up yung relationship.
06:04.3
Parang mas nagiging, more intimate ang isang relationship kapag, yun nga, in-involve yung sex.
06:11.0
If hindi ka ba nakipag-sex sa partner mo, parang hindi kayo magiging, hindi mo masasabing close kayo?
06:17.9
Parang ganun ba siya?
06:20.5
More of like, ang tawag doon.
06:22.3
As I said kanina,
06:23.2
parang it just really adds to the other aspect of our relationship.
06:27.4
And it kinda makes it whole for me.
06:29.4
Pero it is possible naman na kahit walang sex.
06:32.3
Kahit walang sex?
06:33.7
Pero, edo hindi na siya necessity if kahit walang?
06:37.0
Like, I mean like, in general.
06:39.8
Pero for me, yeah.
06:41.9
Parang siguro, baka nagpo-project lang ako.
06:45.3
Kasi hindi ko alam kung kaya ko makapagrelasyon sa ibang tao kung may sex na involved.
06:52.3
So, iniisip kong para sa'yo is, as someone na sexual, makikita mo ba yung sarili mo sa ganung klaseng na walang sex na involved?
07:01.4
So, parang ganun.
07:02.4
Pero, kasi yun nga.
07:03.3
I haven't really experienced a relationship na wala.
07:07.3
Pero, I'm curious din talaga malaman if I could, you know, go in a relationship na wala.
07:14.1
Parang, you can't answer it pa ng concretely kasi hindi mo pa na-try na...
07:19.8
Yeah, yeah, hindi ko pa na-experience.
07:21.4
This is a question na, yun nga.
07:23.7
Medyo na, like, na-confuse ako dati kasi sa tanong na to.
07:27.4
You're asexual, right?
07:29.0
Are you also, like, aromantic?
07:31.5
Sa ngayon, confused pa ako.
07:33.4
Although, may mga taong asexual na may jowa rin naman talaga.
07:37.7
May mga asexual na aromantic din.
07:40.6
Ako, confused pa ako if aromantic ba ako or pandromantic.
07:44.9
Feeling ko dahil pressured ako na wala ka pa bang jowa pag sa reunion.
07:50.6
So, parang iniisip ko, baka aromantic ako.
07:53.9
Tapos, pinipilit ko lang na magkaroon ako ng romantic attraction sa iba.
07:58.4
Kasi, kailangan kong magkaroon ng relasyon.
08:04.0
Parang peer pressure.
08:04.8
Iniisip ko, crush ko ba talaga to?
08:06.5
O, parang iniisip ko lang na, ay, pwede siyang maging karelasyon ko.
08:10.2
Medyo stereotypical ako mag-isip sa sexual attraction, syempre.
08:14.2
Parang, sa akin, sexual attraction is, nai-imagine mo yung tao na,
08:21.1
Para sa akin, ah.
08:21.9
Pero, romantic attraction is, nai-imagine mo yung tao sa' mo na makakadate mo.
08:26.2
Hindi necessary na may physical touch.
08:30.6
Do you get attracted with, like, physical features of a person?
08:33.7
Or, like, it's more of, like, the personality lang talaga for you?
08:36.8
I think I'd be lying.
08:38.7
Parang, mapapaling ka, syempre, if, like, may taong cute, diba?
08:42.6
Pero, hindi, hindi ko siyang matawag na romantic attraction.
08:46.4
Hindi ko rin siyang matawag na sexual attraction.
08:49.5
Parang, mapapaling ka, syempre, if, like, may taong cute, diba?
08:50.4
Magpapunta yung attention mo sa kanya.
08:51.6
Pero, hindi siya yung basis para magiging crush ko siya.
08:54.7
Parang, I might try to become closer to them as a friend.
08:58.7
It's from that, where I can realize na po, ay, crush ko siya.
09:02.4
Kasi, pwede ko siya makita aside from a friend.
09:07.4
I'll be honest, though, like, medyo same.
09:09.0
In the sense, nagustuhan ko din talaga makakalala yung person muna.
09:11.2
Bago ko sabihin na, like, oh, like, you know, gusto kita talaga, gano'n.
09:15.3
First time mo ba ba encounter yung term na asexual?
09:19.9
Then, I had a friend.
09:20.2
Then, I had a friend.
09:20.3
Kasi, na asexual.
09:22.2
We talked about sex stuff, gano'n.
09:25.3
Tahimik lang siya.
09:25.9
And we were asking why.
09:26.9
Like, na-off ba siya sa mga person na gano'n?
09:28.6
Tapos, apparently, we learned na asexual siya.
09:31.0
Sa tingin mo, parang, how do asexuals live parang para sa'yo?
09:35.9
Anong perception mo?
09:37.4
Ang una din talaga nag-pop sa isip ko na narinig ko yun sa friend ko.
09:40.5
Parang, so, like, do you masturbate?
09:45.6
Do you even watch those kinds of videos?
09:48.4
Yung porn and stuff?
09:50.2
was normal sa, like, peers ko.
09:53.0
Pero ikaw, may idea ka ba why someone could identify as asexual?
09:58.5
Most really, wala talaga.
10:00.2
Parang, kapag sinasabi ko, why are you asexual?
10:02.4
Yung iba, iniisip celibate sila.
10:04.3
Which is different kasi celibacy is a choice.
10:07.5
Eh, hindi naman namin choice na maging asexual.
10:10.5
Mas madali yung buhay kung pwede kami, kung gusto namin mag-sex.
10:14.1
Medyo sensitive siya.
10:16.3
May iba na iniisip asexual yung tao kasi
10:20.0
They might have had a bad experience about sex.
10:23.3
At least, yung mga gano'n kasi, baka maka-offend siya sa mga taong nakaranas din talaga.
10:28.6
Kasi, ayun, parang sa'kin ang off niya, ang off niya lang.
10:33.4
I guess follow up na parang, based from that, na-discriminate ka na ba?
10:38.1
In terms of discrimination kasi, sa'kin ah, mas ano kami, microaggressions.
10:43.9
Palagi ka nalang sasabi na asexual ako, parang tingin nila, hindi, celibate.
10:48.6
Parang, sino nila?
10:49.8
Nims lang sa nila, parang sa'kin nila, bukod sa hindi nila alam, kahit i-explain mo, hindi sila naniniwala.
10:55.9
Baka ako yung problema doon kasi, nagsisex jokes naman ako.
10:58.9
Pero at least, para sa'kin kasi, sex is a joke.
11:01.6
So, naggumagawa ka na yan.
11:03.8
Feeling ko, like, it's different from like the discrimination other queer people face.
11:08.7
And they might get discriminated because of their identity.
11:11.4
Sa amin, mas yung discrimination is hindi nila alam na nag-iexist kami.
11:15.9
Or nire-rejected kong existent.
11:19.7
asexual, may dilema kami na parang hindi namin alam kung pasok ba kami sa queer community.
11:26.6
Hindi rin naman kami makapag-identify talaga sa heterosexuals.
11:30.5
May iba kasi ka parang LGBTQIA.
11:33.5
Tapos, imbis siyang A is for asexuals, akala na iba A is for allies.
11:37.8
Medyo mahirap siya inavigate.
11:40.0
Pero, hindi naman siya super duper big deal sa'kin.
11:43.0
What myths or misconceptions about asexuality bother you the most talaga?
11:47.4
People who are asexuals?
11:49.7
They shouldn't be like boxed into like asexuality lang.
11:54.3
Kasi yun nga, from romantic attractions, we have different feelings towards it.
11:59.0
Ang hirap kasi kapag i-babox mo yung tao, parang turing sa kanila is, sa amin, is parang inanimate object dahil lang hindi kami nakikipag-sex.
12:09.0
May ibang tao na parang gusto kang kausapin as like challenge.
12:14.0
Ay, kapag napa-sex ko to, ang galing ko talaga asexual na paano.
12:18.8
Parang, nii, anong, tingin mo ba nakakakilig yung ganon?
12:23.0
Parang, hindi siya.
12:24.8
Yung asexuality kasi parang smash siya sa spectrum.
12:28.2
Like, there are people who might try having sex but they won't have fun about it.
12:32.3
Ako personally, I don't see myself naman as someone who would die without sex.
12:37.0
Kunwari, ikasal ako.
12:38.1
I would like to have children.
12:40.1
I think I would have sex.
12:41.3
Yung nakita ko doon parang, parang siyang paglalaba.
12:44.2
Hindi mo siya gustong gawin pero kailangan mo lang siyang gawin.
12:47.3
Would you be able to be?
12:48.6
In a relationship with someone na hindi kayang mag-engage sa physical activities?
12:56.5
No, I don't think so.
12:57.8
For me, it really completes the relationship.
13:00.1
I don't wanna invalidate ngayon mga people na hindi ganun yung iniisip.
13:04.8
I feel like sex is really a vulnerable state.
13:08.2
Where two people are just, yun nga, alone.
13:12.2
They're bare selves, kung baga.
13:14.4
And I think that really, yun nga, adds to that deeper connection.
13:18.1
Kasi diba parang sa iba parang may deal-breakers sa relationship.
13:22.7
So kung deal-breaker mo is yung sex, I mean, valid naman siya.
13:27.2
Paano kung ikasal kayo tapos hindi mo na mararanasan yung gusto mong gawin, diba?
13:33.5
But I do wanna note, I'm willing to compromise with you if ever.
13:36.7
I mean, we'll see with like, in the future.
13:39.7
Yeah, if it happens.
13:40.5
If it happens, it happens.
13:41.8
Hindi nga, being asexual, what do you imagine an ideal relationship for you would be like?
13:46.7
An ideal relationship?
13:47.5
An ideal relationship for me would basically have communication at its very core.
13:53.5
Inaintindihan niya yung isa't isa on a emotional level.
13:57.9
Yung nagbibigay kayo ng efforts sa isa't isa para maging masaya without necessarily engaging in sex.
14:05.5
Mas ano kasi ako, date to marry na person.
14:08.6
So, I really want to have someone na serious about the relationship.
14:14.9
Alam mo yun, parang gusto ko rin maranasan yung...
14:17.5
May kapuyatan ka, naka-text.
14:19.3
Gusto ka lang kumustahin, gusto kang i-comfort.
14:22.5
Kasi hindi ko kailangan yung physically intimate activities.
14:27.0
Gusto ko yung maranasan yung kilig.
14:29.4
Parang it's more of like a companionship talaga for you.
14:33.5
It's difficult kasi to explain na iba yung karelasyon sa kaibigan.
14:39.4
Kasi they're both companions naman, diba?
14:41.5
Parang if you could, if sex is like where you can get really bare with someone, at least sign.
14:47.5
You could really be bare with someone din na you can say things without any filter.
14:52.2
And they'd understand where you're coming from.
14:54.2
Kasi sa friends, I mean, you still somehow got to level what you're saying with them to not offend you.
15:01.5
Kasi it's not a commitment naman.
15:03.4
Relasyon, commitment.
15:04.9
Commitment talaga.
15:06.3
Yung sa last ko is, could you ever consider an asexual as a normal person?
15:11.7
Oh, definitely, yeah.
15:13.0
Besides yung preference na to not have sex, you're still a person.
15:17.5
You can't take away someone's being na maging isang tao.
15:23.0
Parang ano lang, being straight doesn't define you.
15:26.6
Being ace doesn't really define me.
15:29.3
Parang actually super fun niya para sa akin.
15:33.0
Kasi di ko siya sinasay out loud talaga na asexual ako.
15:36.0
Hindi ko ako kinahiya.
15:36.9
Tinatryhard ko lang kasi na hindi ako ma-define ng asexuality.
15:41.0
There's more to it than what I've learned sa past experience ako with my friends.
15:47.5
Hindi nila alam kung ano yung asexuality.
15:49.8
And siya, super active niyan.
15:53.4
Super open-minded about it.
15:55.1
Hindi ko na-feel na other ako.
15:56.8
Yung sexahan niya hindi siya super duper defining factor ng relationship.
16:01.2
It's something na we all share naman.
16:03.4
Kasi hindi rin naman samang defining factor.
16:05.4
It's a lot of things.
16:07.0
The idea of like asexuality nga, isn't conformed into like a single box.
16:12.2
Everyone's unique.
16:13.0
Everyone is unique.
16:14.1
Asexuals are not invisible.
16:16.6
We're not things.
16:17.5
We're also humans.
16:18.8
It's just we're humans who wouldn't like to have sex.
16:21.9
So that's just it.
16:24.3
Just know about it lang.
16:47.5
Thank you for watching!
