Three Generations of Moms Talk About Motherhood | Filipino | Rec•Create
00:25.5
I'm Broly. Hello po.
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In my generation, it was like motherhood or birthing was a necessary step after marriage.
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It was as if if you didn't have children, it was as if you made the wrong choice.
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Millennial mothers are trying to be more present, more involved.
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Kung ano man yung parang kulang sa pagpapalaki ng moms namin sa amin.
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So, that's something we're trying to repair.
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Some are overdoing it.
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Madami sa age namin or generation talaga is ayaw na ng motherhood.
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Kasi bukod sa mahirap, financially, hindi na ganun kadali ngayong generation.
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Your parents would say na, oh, it's okay.
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Just have babies and we'll, you know, everything will be taken care of after.
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Being a housewife is outdated.
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Pangarap ko to eh.
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Pangarap ko rin yan.
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Pangarap ko maging passenger princess, soft girl, hindi independent woman.
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Pangarap ko to eh.
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Pero hindi natupas.
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Ginawa ko rin naman na maghanda ng baon para sa lahat sa lahat.
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Eh, ginawa ko rin pero umalis ako ng baon para magtrabaho.
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But I don't want to say it's outdated.
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It's outdated because it is a very noble profession by itself.
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I mean, we've experienced that during the pandemic.
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Being in the house and, you know, taking care of them 24-7.
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Wala kang me-time ng work, di ba?
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Mas mahirap, di ba?
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It's also a dream, to be honest.
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When I drove, Kimmy said na ayoko na maging strong independent woman.
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Beyonce, ayoko na.
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Ayoko na maging Beyonce.
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Gusto ko na maging dalagang Pilipina.
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Dati nung dalaga, parang nung kinasal kami, parang gawin mo lang housewife.
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Parang awa mo na, bahay na lang ako.
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Gusto ko na mag-relax, relax.
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Eh, pero nung nag-three months na maternity leave, parang gusto ko na lumabas.
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Hindi ko kaya dito sa bahay.
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Sobrang saludo po sa mama ko.
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Housewife siya for so long.
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Sobrang doon ko lang na-realize.
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Ang grabe pala, parang inuuna niya pala talaga kami lagi.
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I can't, I can't afford not to, not to work.
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So, yung pagiging housewife na yan, hindi siya outdated.
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Kailangan lang natin silang tulungan.
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Kailangan lang natin silang i-appreciate.
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Lalo na yung mga super macho fathers diyan.
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Na, na pag uuwi yung, ah, hindi pa ako, wala silang pagkain ko.
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Kato yung hubo ako.
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I-appreciate lang because it's, it's difficult.
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Talagang nakakabaliw siya.
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Social media does more harm than good for children.
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No, kasi with social media, like whether it's TikTok, YouTube, or whatever, parang nakakabilim.
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Kahit na nga yung tayo, nauuto.
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We tend to believe, what more are kids?
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Parang nagkakaroon na sila tuloy ng ibang vision kung ano yung mundo.
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On how, on how real life is.
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On what life really is.
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I found out the hard way kung ano yung pros and cons of letting my kids have social media.
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So, yung nine-year-old ko kasi, nine-year-old girl is interested in arts.
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She was scrolling through TikTok seeing this mga parang mga tutorials.
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So, kami ng tatay parang, uy, ang galing.
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Uy, ang galing yung drawing ng mata.
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Mas magaling ka pa sa amin.
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Natutuwa kami kasi naging useful.
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And then, until such time na parang, sorry ah, totoo naman.
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Sinilip ko kasi minsan.
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Kasi phone ko naman yun eh.
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Hiniram lang naman yan.
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Hindi naman kanya yun.
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So, sinilip ko rin.
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May mga ka-message na hindi ko kakilala.
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Ginagamit niya yung messenger niya to talk to her classmates.
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And I'm not liking what the conversation is leaning towards to.
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Kasi dati, slime videos.
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Pero nung papunta na sa parang yung gumagawa ng slime.
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Sabi ko, ASMR na parang iba na yung dating.
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Parang may pagkabastos na sabi ko, hindi na to okay.
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And then, yung sa six-year-old ko naman.
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Mama, I was busy eh.
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So, I wasn't really listening.
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Mama, what's a glory hole?
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So, ako, siguro nag-isulat ako, glory.
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What are you watching?
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Doon na ako parang,
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nag-panic na ako.
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Sabi ko na sa tatay, parang,
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ay, aking na yung cellphone na yan.
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Kailangan pala talaga katabi ko.
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Akala ko dati, parang,
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nanonood ako dati ng TV,
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higit naman katabi yung parents ko.
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Ayoko, baby pa yung sa'yo.
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Pero mayroon din akong mga pamangkin kasi sa bahay.
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Sa kanila naman, yung patience nila yung parang naano nung social media.
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Kasi with TikTok, parang mayroon 10 seconds lang na video.
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So, kunyari movie or
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kailangan namin mag-stay na,
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manood ng matagal.
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Wala na yung patience nila.
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Sobrang, ayoko na yan.
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Lipat muna. Next muna.
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So, yung patience nila yung napapansin ko na parang,
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ang bilis naman mag-ano nung mga bata ngayon.
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Parang, ang bilis niya naman mabored.
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Ano yung lack of focus niya?
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Yes. Tapos, di ba?
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Swipe lang ng swipe.
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Pag ayaw, okay, swipe.
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Tapos, pag may ads, galit.
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Nagkagalit sila sa ads.
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Kaya ako doon sa baby ko,
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sabi ko talaga, nanego.
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Nanego wala muna.
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Kasi nasa development,
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ano pa siya yung stage pa.
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Kasi ayoko na magaya siya na parang,
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You should always put your children above yourself.
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So, in the middle ako din.
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Although, parate kong palpak dyan.
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Pero, kailangan, sana hindi.
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Kasi, if you also don't consider your own health,
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or the way you feel,
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hindi rin maganda yung pakikitungo mo sa kids mo.
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That's the ideal.
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Marami akong palpak dyan.
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Sa mga bagay tulad ng,
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kunwari, pagkain.
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Yung, di ba may kasabihan mo na parang,
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isusubo mo na lang, bibigay mo pa.
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Ako sa ganun, I gladly do that for them.
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Kasi parang, di ba?
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Pero, may isang example ako na parang,
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pag gumakain ako ng fried chicken,
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yung skin, tinatagal ko yun.
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Tapos, tinatabi ko yun.
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Kasi, yun yung huling subo ko.
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Suscook ko yung gravy.
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Yun yung parang, piece the resistance.
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Sine-save ko for myself.
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And then, nung lumaki na yung daughter ko,
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bigyan mo namang isang araw,
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Hindi siya nagpaalam.
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Tapos, gusto ko umiiyak.
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Ang babaw, di ba po?
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Pero, sabi ko, sige, sige.
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Nanay na nga talaga ako sa iyo na yan.
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Doon ako sa always, hindi agree.
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Most of the time,
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you should put your kids above yourself.
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Yun, in my case, since I'm a working mom,
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hindi ko afford talaga to put them
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always above myself.
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Paano ko ba explain?
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Kasi, parang nangyari tuloy yung trabaho,
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Yun na yung me-time ko.
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Doon ako magre-relax.
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Kasi, paggating mo sa bahay,
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sila na dapat talaga yung, sila na yun na eh.
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And then, nasira pa yung,
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naulo ko nitong pandemic
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because I had to work from home.
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Doon ako sa always may problema
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because I realized,
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I look at my life as a woman,
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as a pizza, parang pizza.
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So, I would divide myself into slices.
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Parang yung slice na yun, yun na yung sanity ko.
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How do I keep my sanity?
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How do I not put them above myself all the time?
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I hang out with my friends,
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even though sometimes parang I feel bad
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because the kids would say,
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Anak, ako lang muna, ako lang.
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But if I don't put myself above them sometimes,
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I think, I honestly think I will go crazy.
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And it will rebound on them negatively
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as in I will not be a good mother,
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I will be horrible,
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I will ruin their lives.
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Three month old pa lang yung baby ko.
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Tapos parang working na ako na corporate six years.
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So, parang yung buong six years ko after graduation,
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ganun na kasi yung buhay ko eh.
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So, nung pinanganak ko siya,
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parang sobra yung transition na parang
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identity ko na yung work ko for that long.
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Tapos, parang same din po sa inyo na parang
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ang sanity ko na lang is yung work.
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So, parang matatapos na yung maternity leave ko.
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Sad ako kasi may iwan ko siya.
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Pero happy ako kasi parang makukuha ko na yung life ko talaga.
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Parang dapat ba siya yung unahin ko?
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Kasi parang may debate din kami na
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dapat ba mag-resign ka na?
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Parang lagi ka na lang nasa bahay
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Parang pagka nag-stay, nag-full time,
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mama ko feeling ko mababaliw naman ako
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pero gusto ko siyang alagaan.
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Pero paano naman ako?
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Parang ito na ako eh.
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Identity ko na ito for so long.
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Parang gusto ko nang bawiin yung buhay ko dati.
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Parang gusto ko lang na ito na yung ano.
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Parang para sa akin. Ibigay mo na.
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I just want us to feel good about this ha.
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Na it's good that we also know.
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That we take care of ourselves first before
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when we deal with them.
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Because we present better selves to them eh.
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They learn more through modeling from us.
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So if that is the self that we present to them
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and we're confident and
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So I think those are the types of children
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that we will also raise.
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I'm curious because your kids are older.
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Do they, yung sinasabi mong ganyan na parang
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present better versions of ourselves to them?
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Do they see that?
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Nakikita ko yun na nakikita na nila ngayon.
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Nakikita ko because honestly I can tell you that
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my kids are better versions of me.
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Therapy ba? Therapy ba to?
10:58.5
Debes, you should be friends with your child.
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But okay, at the same time,
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not to the point of being too friendly
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that you lose yourself as a mother to her.
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You should be a friend because I,
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in the sense that I have to see my child as a person
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and not just somebody I reared and someone lower than me.
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Hindi, kailangan kapantay ko rin siya.
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And that's how you see him or her grow.
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But then at the same time,
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huwag naman masyadong barkada.
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Na your child cannot,
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Your child cannot see you as mother anymore.
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Tama po kayo na friends but not BFFs.
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Yun siguro yung line ni Fernie.
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But then with my daughter,
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I find that this is a very tricky situation.
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Kasi parang, syempre friends kami.
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As much as possible,
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sinamahan ko siya sa isang,
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dumating dito yung mga Koreans sa isang concert.
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Sige, maglabas tayo ng pera, tara.
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Kahit hindi ko alam alamin.
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the more important part of being a friend to my kids,
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especially my daughter is,
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gusto ko takbuhan ako.
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It took a while for me to become friends with my children.
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Kasi yun naman, as you said na,
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like you're a nine-year-old,
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they build their own worlds na.
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Their peers or their friends become more important.
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And you cannot stop that
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because that's how it is in their world.
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And I always pray about this.
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There's always an incident or a story in their lives
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where you are needed most.
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I guess we just have to pray that we will be there
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when that time comes.
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That we can be their friend.
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We will be their safe spaces.
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Better than their friends.
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There was a time,
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hindi ko alam na may nangyayari na pala sa anak ko.
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And yes, we cannot really be there at all times.
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And even if we pray that,
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please dear Lord, please guard them.
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But something happens.
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And it's up to you
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Because if I reacted
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in the most natural way,
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we will not be friends.
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And the more he or she will be distant from you
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because you are not any help.
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I think I'm your child.
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I found my purpose when I had my children.
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Sa kaya lang nag-pause ako eh.
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Me personally, I did.
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Ako lang yung no.
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Ako kasi siguro number one,
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baka hindi ko pa talaga nasagot yung tanong na yun.
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What's your purpose?
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I haven't really, I don't know.
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I still don't know at my age of 40.
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I don't know what my purpose truly is.
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But having children, having a family,
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doing well in work,
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those are all part of my purpose.
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Inirephrase ko na lang yan for myself and
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I'll say my children allowed me,
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or yung mga anak ko are my second chance.
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I would say they're my second chance to
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kung ano man yung mga pagkukulang ko sa sarili ko even.
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Meron kasi tayong pagkukulang din sa self natin, diba?
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We were not, maybe at some point in our lives,
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we were not too kind to ourselves.
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So parang sa akin,
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yung mga bagay na ginawa kong maling gano'n,
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yun yung second chance ko na ayusin sa kanila.
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My relationship with my mother was not
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what I would have wished for, I would say.
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So second chance ko yung children ko,
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yun ang tingin ko talaga sa kanila,
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hindi sa purpose ko,
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nasagot ko yung purpose ko sa life ko nung dumating sila.
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Because I think yun nga eh,
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I like what I do with work,
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gustong gusto ko yung hobbies ko.
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And sila yung mga anak ko,
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sila yung nagpapasaya pa lalo nun.
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Like yun nga, for example,
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one of my hobbies is I like to go surfing.
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So sinasama ko sila
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and yung things that I used to enjoy,
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mas sumasaya dahil kasama ko na sila, diba?
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So yun, yun siguro yung sagot ko.
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My family is unique.
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Okay, marami kami eh.
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Unique ang pagkakaanak ko.
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My first was one, single.
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Tapos triplets, tapos single.
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Dapat hindi ko pa sinabi yan.
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Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.
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But I think what is...
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What was even more challenging was
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two of my triplets have special needs.
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Okay, award goes to an award.
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That's how I also discovered myself more.
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Even if, let's say that
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I have done a lot already
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I learned more from them.
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Mas naging tao ako dahil sa kanila.
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And I have to thank all my children for that.
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To some, they'll say,
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Napaka-martir mo naman.
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I don't think it's...
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Becoming a martyr or
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taking all these challenges.
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I learned more about them.
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I learned more about
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becoming kind, compassionate.
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Because their lives are so simple.
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Eh yun naman dapat lang talaga.
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Tayo lang nag-complicate na things.
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And to make it, you know,
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You know, just to go back to that core,
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I think I found my purpose because of them.
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Just to share din.
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Parang galing din ako sa
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Tapos kaming dalawa sa dulo.
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Kami yung barang tag-team talaga.
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So parang independent ako palagi.
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Parang siya lang yung
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Nag-work or full-time mom.
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Pero focus talaga dun siya sa pangalawa kong kapatid.
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Kasi sakit ng ulo.
17:57.5
Tapos yung dad ko nasa ibang bansa.
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So for the longest time,
18:01.5
parang lagi akong nagsisearch na
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wala akong family,
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wala akong mapupuntahan pag ganitong gathering,
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o kaya wala akong kasama.
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Habang naiiyak pa ang taong to.
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Wala akong kasama ba lagi? Ganyan.
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So parang nung dumating na,
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feeling ko mayroon akong own.
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Maganda na kong kaya.
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Parang feeling ko,
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ang dami kong sinerch na tao.
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nag-jump ako relationship to relationship.
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Parang lang ma-find yun.
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Parang nung dumating na,
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meron akong sarili.
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May kasama na ako sa Pasko,
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Mothers really know best?
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Oo, kasi paglabas ko tatahan niya.
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Hindi niya kasi mapatahan niya.
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I used to think that that was not true.
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Alam mo, may infection niyang ilaw ko.
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Mayroon ako yung ano.
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Hindi, kayo ko to.
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Tatawid ako ng ilaw niya.
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Ako, sobrang angsty teen girl ako.
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yun nga, may mommy issues talaga ako.
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And I used to think na,
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imposibleng alam mo yung tama for me.
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Kasi hindi mo nga ako,
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hindi mo naman talaga alam kung anong gusto ko eh.
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But now, looking back,
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And my mom died in,
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so that I will not make mistakes.
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To save, you know,
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to save myself some trouble.
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I will only learn as I grow along.
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I will learn from you,
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and people like you,
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when I'm in those weak moments
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Hindi ko alam ito.
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So magdadasa na lang ako na,
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maitawid ko lang ito.
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Maitawid ko lang ito.
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Masolusyon lang ko lang ito for today.
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Okay na ako, diba?
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I believe that my mother knew best.
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I'm not going to discount the fathers
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who are very good in parenting their children
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that they know best.
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But in my personal experience,
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my mother knew best.
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Totoo rin pala yung kasabihan
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na you grow like your mom
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I'm tending to act like her,
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I'm tending to laugh like her,
21:02.5
Say the same things she used to say.
21:05.5
The same things she told me,
21:12.5
I can say my experience,
21:14.5
my mother knew the best.
21:16.5
she passed away many years ago.
21:20.5
I still feel her.
21:23.5
whenever there's something good
21:25.5
or if I feel that I was saved,
21:27.5
I would always say,
21:38.5
Ang ganda na ng mother's instinct po.
21:40.5
Happy Mother's Day.
21:42.5
Happy Mother's Day.
21:43.5
Happy Mother's Day.
21:44.5
Happy Mother's Day.
