Is Closure Really Important? | Filipino | Rec•Create Unfiltered
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Or D, drive for two.
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Magda-driving tayo.
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Hi, everyone! I'm Jan. I'm 28 years old.
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Hindi yellow couch eh.
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Eh di ikaw, ikupuan kita kasi yellow.
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Sasabihin na ba natin?
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Mabigat yung nararamdaman ko.
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Wala magsasabi kasi hindi naman matino yung pagsabi.
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So, this is our finale episode of Unfiltered.
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But, in the spirit of finalizing things,
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gusto nating pag-usapan,
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important ba ang closure?
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Anong experience niyo in this field?
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No comment? Mamaya ang daming itatagdag niya.
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Bakit? Ilang beses ko ba ginawa yun?
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Madaming beses, sis.
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Well, ako wala akong maisip na sobrang dumb.
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It's my turn, diba?
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Sige, ikaw na nga.
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Final thoughts ko is binigyan lang siya ng word.
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Tapos, nagsabi ka na naayaw mo na.
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Ano ba? Bakit kayo ganyan?
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Wait lang, meron na ba kayong black and white answer?
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May yes or no? Okay.
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I want to see sino ang team yes, it's important.
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Mga man-hit kayo!
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Hindi, may ano, reason eh.
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So, based sa experience ko, important yung closure kasi nga before,
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gusto ko malaman kung what went wrong, ano ba yung pagkukulang ko,
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or mga bagay na hindi nyo nasabi sa isa't isa.
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Just to fully understand ba't hindi siya nag-work out.
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Yung sakin kasi, hindi naman sa hindi important yung closure.
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Yung sakin kasi, if ako yung decided, like in myself, okay na ako,
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wala na akong masyadong pakialam sa other end.
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Parang considerate ako up until that point.
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Like in your case, if you say na it's very important to you na mag-usap kayo and whatnot,
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kahit anong sabihin mo sa akin, if ayoko na, ayoko na.
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Parang decidido ka nila.
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Parang decidido ka na eh.
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Wala akong better term. Parang self-closure or whatever.
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Better yun. Better talaga yun. That's ideal.
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Ako kasi parang yung first relationship ko, I fought for the closure.
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Yung isa, parang siya yung nag-ilang beses naman nag-try i-close yung chapter.
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Tapos yung third, parang okay naman yung closure.
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And in all those three, na-realize ko na parang may unsatisfying feeling pa rin.
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Kung baga parang there's an official end.
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So, it's gradual.
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Kung baga na after a while na lang,
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marirealize mo, ay na-close ko na pala yung chapter na yun.
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Eventually, kasi it's still losing a person.
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So, whether if mutually mag-agree kayo, it will still hurt regardless.
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So, mararamdaman mo yun.
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Before, I think parang it was important for me to,
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ayan nga, magkaroon ng closure.
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But then I realized na parang the more I force na magkaroon ng closure,
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the more lang na parang nagiging complicated yung situation.
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Usap tayo for closure.
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Tapos yung ending, ang closure, magsisexuate.
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Tapos lang pala kayo.
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Diba? Natatawa siya.
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Kaya pala ten times yung closure niya eh.
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Wala akong sinapak eh.
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Kasi may mga words akong naririnig from that person na baka,
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ay shit, baka may chance pa or what.
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Kaya doon ako naging marupok.
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Kailan ba yung tamang closure ba?
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Or kailan mo masasabi sa sarili mo na ito na yun?
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Noong una kasi patola din talaga ako.
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Siyempre, nagmamature tayo.
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I realized na parang may mga tao kasi talaga na hindi mo maiiwasan na masasaktan ka nila eh.
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And there's nothing you can do about it.
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Kasi you cannot control how they act.
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Especially if it was from a toxic relationship.
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Yung extreme cases, like, klaro talaga na hindi nga kawalan.
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Like you have to get away, break away from it na kasi it'll get worse lang.
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I think also realizing na parang, diba, especially when you were saying na,
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I don't need it and for me that's enough closure na.
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For me ah, closure is not like a torture.
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It's like a two-way thing.
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Na it's not your responsibility to that other person.
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Alamin yung parang, ewan ko if it's so romantic.
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Pero yung mga sa movies na parang, at that moment, she realized she was free.
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Yung mga ganun parang, don't like, commercial.
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Oh my God, I'm so drunk.
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Oh my God, I'm so drunk.
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At that moment, she realized she was free.
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I'll drink to that.
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Pero yeah, that's true naman.
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Kaya nga at the end of the day, babalik siya na.
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Not really your responsibility to deal with another adult.
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Yung bahala na sila eh. Like they're their own person eh.
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Pero okay, eto, meron akong tanong because...
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Tama na. Tama ka na, akala.
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Merong mga iba na, for example, one-sided, unrequited love siya.
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Na parang crush ko to, bet na bet ko to.
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Pero wala eh, either na busted, hindi sila gusto or alam mo yun?
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How do you go about the closure?
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Well may experience din ako na ganyan.
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And I think medyo matagal din ako bago naka-cope.
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Bago ko na-realize na wala talaga.
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Hindi ako nagka-closure with that person.
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Nagka-closure naman ako with myself.
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So self-realization rin siya habang tumatagal.
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Like mapapagod ka na rin umasa, mapagod ka na rin mag-effort.
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Sinasayang ko lang yung oras ko for this person when pwede naman ako mag-meet new people.
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Well, yung problem naman doon, di naman din ako umamin.
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But the thing is, ano naman eh, like kita naman na friendzone.
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Kiki, do you love me?
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Kiki, do you love me?
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Yung isang episode, post-model niyo sinubukan niya eh.
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May closure tayo doon.
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Pero feeling ko ah, parang it's in that moment when you realize na kailangan kong ibalik sa sarili ko yung love na binigay ko to that other person.
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Usually that's the point of closure talaga.
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Tapos, bigay mo na lang ulit sa iba.
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RT. Ito very common din to in our daily age.
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Situationships naman.
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Kasi diba, people have a lot of those situationships. Walang label.
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Ayun ang madaming complications.
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So my question is, importante bang magbigay ng value sa closure when in the first place hindi mo alam yung value nung meron nyo?
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For me, ako kasi never ko pang na-experience yung ganun eh.
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Ganda mo naman doon.
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Ang nangyayari sa situationship kasi okay, usap kayo, click kayo, since wala naman talaga kayong commitment or label na napag-usapan, talagang go with the flow kayo, eventually may magsastop, mag-try.
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Paano mo makakabulin yung closure ngayon?
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Feeling ko, one, kailangan may mag-step up, makipag-communicate.
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And two, close up.
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Ang closure na sa sarili mo.
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Not unless na masaya ka doon sa situationship, diba, edi kung kaya mo, edi go with the flow ka hanggang saan kaya mo.
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If I were to be put in that situation, ang i-expect ko is the, kung baga, the worst possible scenario.
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Kahit mag-step up ka sa kanya, it might not be reciprocated to you, the need for closure, kasi baka mamaya wala naman pala siyang pakisayo.
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So ako, parang feel ko diretso na ako doon sa number two mo.
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Doon sa part na, sige, sometimes walang parang closure na boogsh, ganun talaga.
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It's always gradual.
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Kaya parang I feel like kailangan andun ka din sa parang emotional maturity where you know kung kailan mo ibibigay sa sarili mo yung self-respect na okay, I do not deserve this.
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So I'm gonna slowly detach myself bago pa masaktan pa ako.
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And bago pa umabot sa point na magkakasiraan.
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Na magkakasiraan pa tayong dalawa.
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So eto guys, may question ako since ako yung natamaan sa mga pointers nyo.
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Marupok ka talaga minsan.
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Hindi naman sa marupok, pero kasi...
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Hindi, marupok ka talaga.
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Alam mo yun, pag maalim mo yung tao.
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Anyway, moving forward.
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Gusto ko kayo tanungin, paano mo matutulungan yung sarili mo?
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How did you get over it?
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For me, you need to go back to...
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Siguro yun nga, kailangan mong ibalik yung sarili mo dun sa part na nagpapasaya sa'yo before mo ma-meet yung person na yun.
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Parang nagagawa ko naman lahat ng mga gusto kong gawin.
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Hindi mo ka naman mag-send bars.
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E di ba't mo tinanong?
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Don't be afraid to move forward.
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Kasi yung healing, di ba, whenever it's heartbreak, lalo na kung nangyari first heartbreak mo,
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it feels like forever eh.
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But things get better talaga.
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Like for example, kunyari nasugatan ka or na-injure ka,
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sometimes you tend to think of the part na kailan ba itong mawawala, na kailan ba itong...
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Oo, kailan ba ba't mag-heal.
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So when you look forward, when you realize na may katapusan siya, yung pain and yung nafe-feel mong mga ano,
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mas namamotivate ka to move forward.
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Parang kumbaga trust yourself enough to know na you will get out of it immediately.
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Ay, sa'kin madali lang eh, honestly. Like...
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Part na yun, pero hindi.
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Honestly sa'kin, kahit anong problema, regardless kahit ito, just suck it up sa totoo lang.
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I get na breakups are hard, moving on is hard, but whatever.
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Pero honestly, just suck it up sa totoo lang.
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When you suck it up, it's acceptance.
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Actually, ayun, number one road to healing is learning how to accept talaga.
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Aminin mo, there's nothing that you can say or do that makes anything better.
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Regardless kung anong problema.
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Kung wala ka ng pera, mag-breakup ka.
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O lahat ng friends, hindi, okay lang yun.
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Wala, no one can say anything to you.
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As in, bahala ka sa buhay mo talaga dapat.
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Your own healing is your own journey.
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True. True, true, true.
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Anyway guys, that wraps up our episode for today.
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Yun na siya! Oh my God! Wait!
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Closure na din ng Unfiltered to.
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Sa four years na nandito kami, thank you so much hinamahan nyo kami.
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Sinuportahan nyo kami.
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Thank you sa pagdodog show.
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Oo, thank you for the love.
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Through the years.
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You never let me down.
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Through the ups and downs talaga like of even our personal lives,
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yung Unfiltered kumbaga was the constant in that.
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And feeling ko even to our audience themselves.
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Especially since these topics are not topics that we usually talk about.
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I think constant talaga yung Unfiltered.
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So just keep having these Unfiltered conversations.
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Kaya nyo nae-enjoy yung content na to.
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Dahil yung pinag-uusapan nyo na dapat nyo pag-usapan, you're doing it.
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So just keep on having those conversations.
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Ito lang din masasabi ko.
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Siguro nagiging emotional ako sa part na nakasama natin sila.
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And nakita nila yung growth natin as a person.
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From ilang taon lang tayo to now na mag-thirties na tayo.
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Nasamahan nyo kami. Nakita nyo kami paano kami nag-mature.
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Alam mo, feeling ko scared. Parang ano ka, hindi ka open for communication.
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For me kasi, like, deserved pa din naman ng partner mo.
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Parang deserved niya naman at least to know kung saan siya nagkamali.
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Ang dami yung nasubaybayan na break-ups.
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Pinunan nyo pa sino yung jowa namin.
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Break-ups left and right.
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So at the end of the day naman, hindi porket mawawala yung episode.
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Hindi nyo naman kami magkikita.
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You can watch the other Rekreate episodes.
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This is not the end of us.
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Ito yung show lang.
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Ito yung show lang. Oo.
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Nasabi nyo na lahat eh.
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Hindi kayo mahal ni Adeya.
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Hindi kayo mahal ni Adeya.
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I'm not good with closures.
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Tama. Tama. Tama.
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Wait lang. I think before we end this, pakilala ulit tayo isa-isa.
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Kasi yun yung sign off. Kasi yung first ano natin meron tayo na one by one.
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Paano nga ulit yun?
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Your Gemini friend.
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This is Unfiltered.
