Domestic Violence Survivor Citadel Jones Shares Her Story And How She Survived | Toni Talks
02:20.3
Hindi ako nagsasalita dahil nahihiya ako sa sinapit ko.
02:25.3
Hindi ako makapunta sa church.
02:27.0
Pupunta ako sa church.
02:28.8
Si Tadell, yung naked pictures mo.
02:31.5
Nakita ako sa social media.
02:33.1
Sabi ng asaw mo, ganito ka daw, ganyan.
02:35.0
Hiwalay ka na pala.
02:36.2
Nagpapahiya yung mga anak ko, Miss Toni.
02:38.2
Kailangan ko na magsalita.
02:39.6
So nag-reach out ako at sabi ko, magsasalita ako
02:42.7
para maisabi ko yung kwento ko
02:44.9
na hindi dapat nagtatago lang tayo
02:47.8
natatakot, nahihiya bilang biktima ng domestic abuse.
02:52.8
So ngayon, it's time to take that power back
02:55.6
and own your story
02:56.7
so they can never use it against you.
02:59.8
And on top of that,
03:00.8
divorced na ako at matagal na.
03:02.8
Pero kumakalat pa rin on and off
03:04.8
yung mga naked pictures ko.
03:06.8
I can't live a normal life, Miss Toni.
03:08.8
Sa expressway sa US, makikita mo
03:10.8
behind me, five cars behind me,
03:12.8
is my ex-husband driving.
03:14.8
I go to court and the court would tell me,
03:16.8
oh, it's a public place.
03:18.8
He has to stay away from you,
03:20.8
500 feet away from you.
03:22.8
I'd go to a grocery store,
03:24.8
he's just right there, 500 feet away from me.
03:26.8
Only 500 feet away.
03:29.5
But the gun, he owns a gun,
03:31.5
that doesn't protect you 500 feet away.
03:33.5
Kasi yung story ni Miss Citadel,
03:36.5
it goes way back nung childhood niya.
03:40.5
If you were to describe yourself nung bata ka,
03:43.5
paano mo i-describe yung sarili mo?
03:45.5
Si Citadel nung bata, masayahing bata.
03:48.5
Pangarap niya lang, makatapos ng pag-aaral,
03:51.5
matulungan ng pamilya.
03:53.5
Kasi hindi naman kami mayaman.
03:55.5
Yung family ng daddy ko,
03:56.5
lahat ng mga kapatid niya nasa Amerika.
03:58.5
Pinadadalan lang kami ng mga kapatid.
04:00.5
Bunso yung daddy ko eh. Spoiled.
04:02.5
Kaya nangangarap ako, Miss Toni, noon.
04:05.5
Palang araw, sabi ko, tuwing inahatid namin sila sa airport,
04:08.5
sasakay din ako ng aeroplano.
04:11.5
Mag-aaral ako ng mabuti.
04:13.5
Tutulungan kong pamilya ko.
04:15.5
Yun lang, Miss Toni, pangarap ko.
04:16.5
Tapos, active ako sa church.
04:18.5
Yung unang abuse na na-experience mo,
04:21.5
sad to say, sa church at sa pastor.
04:25.5
Okay, so paano nangyari yun?
04:27.5
Nag-mission trip kami.
04:28.5
Ininvite ako sa town nila.
04:31.5
Kasi youth leader ako eh.
04:33.5
Kasama yung mother ko and the women ministry.
04:35.5
Sa ano yun eh, sa Calibo, Aklan.
04:38.5
Malapit sa Boracay.
04:40.5
Niyaya lang ako mag-Boracay.
04:42.5
Eh, may motoro siya.
04:44.5
Tapos kasi noon, bangka lang.
04:46.5
I'm from Mindoro town lang.
04:47.5
Mag-mobot lang kami.
04:49.5
Sabi niya, ay gusto ko na umuwi.
04:50.5
So, niyaya niya lang ako.
04:52.5
Kala ko makakangwi na ako.
04:54.5
Eh, pagpunta nga noon ng Boracay,
04:55.5
sabi punta ng Boracay, uuwi na.
04:57.5
Nung uwi na kami ng Mindoro,
04:59.5
wala naman palang bangka.
05:01.5
Kumuha ng kwarto.
05:04.5
Wala naman mga hotel-hotel doon.
05:06.5
Kumuha lang ng kwarto.
05:11.5
Hindi ka lumaban?
05:12.5
Hindi ka naman makasigaw eh.
05:14.5
Eh ano, wala naman ng cellphone.
05:16.5
Wala pa ako cellphone noon.
05:17.5
Hindi pa nauuso cellphone.
05:18.5
Nauuso noon yung Nokia pero mahal-mahal.
05:21.5
Tanda-tanda ko yun.
05:22.5
Wala akong cellphone.
05:24.5
Sa probinsya ay kuliglig pa.
05:26.5
Wala namang kuryente.
05:27.5
Saan ako tatakbo?
05:29.5
Di ba pag ayaw mo?
05:37.5
He took something away from me.
05:40.5
Na iniingatan ko.
05:42.5
Your pride and honor
05:44.5
is your virginity as a woman.
05:46.5
Iniingat-ingatan ko yun, Ms. Toni.
05:49.5
Di ba dapat ibibigay mo lang yun
05:51.5
to the person that you love?
05:52.5
So, pa'n nangyari ako?
05:54.5
After that incident?
05:56.5
hinintay namin sa bangka,
05:58.5
Pantalan, yung tawag nila doon,
05:59.5
probinsya-probinsya, no?
06:02.5
pauwi na yung women ministry,
06:03.5
yung group ng mami ko.
06:04.5
Nung nakita ko yung mami ko,
06:06.5
lumapit ako, sabi ko,
06:10.5
ginalaw niya po ako.
06:12.5
Hindi na po ako virgin.
06:14.5
Umiiyak nang umiiyak yung mami ko.
06:16.5
Pero, nung umiiyak,
06:17.5
syempre, yung mga women ministry,
06:19.5
oh, bakit kayo umiiyak mag-iina?
06:22.5
Wala, nag-ano lang.
06:23.5
Bakit parang nahihiya pa?
06:25.5
Nahihiya pa yung mami ko na sabihin na,
06:27.5
Ako, sinabi ko na sa kanya,
06:31.5
And pagdating ng San Jose,
06:33.5
nung hometown namin,
06:35.5
kinausap ang tatay ko ng mami ko.
06:37.5
Ang tingin sa'yo,
06:41.5
dahil di ka na virgin,
06:43.5
syempre, yung purity mo
06:44.5
was taken away from you.
06:46.5
Patawag ang magulang.
06:48.5
Ayoko magpakasal, Miss Toni.
06:50.5
Nawalan ka na nga.
06:53.5
Ipapakasal ka pa sa taong hindi mo mahal.
06:55.5
Sabi ko, ayoko magpakasal.
06:59.5
Nabuntis ako, Miss Toni.
07:01.5
I kept my mouth shut for the longest time.
07:04.5
Kinahihiya kong buntis ako.
07:06.5
Hindi ako lumabas for the whole nine months.
07:08.5
Bigla ako nagbago eh.
07:10.5
Nagkaroon ka ng hatred sa church.
07:12.5
Hindi ka naprotektahan.
07:14.5
I resented my parents.
07:16.5
Tapos at the same time, Miss Toni,
07:18.5
dahil mababa yung tingin ko sa sarili ko kasi,
07:22.5
okay lang sa akin ito.
07:23.5
Pangit naman ako eh.
07:27.5
Habang lumalaki ka, Miss Toni,
07:28.5
lagi kang sinasabi ang pangit.
07:30.5
Anong mararap daw mong paglaki mo?
07:33.5
Tanggap mo na sa sarili mo na pangit ka.
07:36.5
You'll settle for less all the time.
07:38.5
Yun yung nagagawa nung...
07:41.5
The power of words.
07:43.5
Words can really break you or kill you.
07:49.5
So nung iniwan mo yung marriage na yun,
07:51.5
ano ang reaction ng mga tao, ng pamilya mo?
07:54.5
Nagpaalam ako sa pastor.
07:56.5
I'm so sorry, I really don't love him.
07:59.5
Ay hindi mo pwedeng iwan.
08:00.5
Abandonment of marriage.
08:02.5
It's against sa ano namin, sa religion namin.
08:06.5
Kahit anong gawin niyo, tanggalin niyo na ako sa church,
08:09.5
Kahit di na ako makapag-missionary,
08:12.5
Isipin mo, Miss Toni, for me,
08:14.5
to get to that point,
08:16.5
nakalimutan yung first love ko.
08:18.5
Yung maglingkod lang, mag-missionary lang.
08:20.5
I left the church, and I left him.
08:22.5
So, na-charge ako ng abandonment of marriage.
08:26.5
Iniwan ko na yung anak ko sa mami ko.
08:29.5
Nakipaghiwalay na ako ng ayos.
08:31.5
Kasi para sa akin, okay yung hiwalayan.
08:33.5
Pero hindi tanggap ng church, that's fine.
08:35.5
At least nagpaalam ako.
08:37.5
Kung ano man yung mga chismes na ano ah,
08:39.5
umalis si Sita dahil iniwan ang asawa,
08:41.5
blah, blah, blah.
08:43.5
At that time, nabagod buhay ako sa Amerika.
08:46.5
After five years,
08:49.5
Na-meet ko naman yung ano,
08:51.5
eto yung husband ko.
08:54.5
Ex-husband ngayon.
08:55.5
Miss Toni, na-meet ko sa church.
08:58.5
At ang first date namin.
09:01.5
Wala akong kadala-dala.
09:02.5
Nag-volunteer sa mga bata.
09:05.5
So, first love ko.
09:08.5
Mag-visionary sa aong heart ko.
09:10.5
I wanna find someone who is,
09:12.5
that shares the same values as I did.
09:16.5
Pagbabalikan mo, may red flags yun eh.
09:18.5
Ano yung mga red flags na isinantabi mo?
09:21.5
Para kung may nanunood sa atin ngayon
09:23.5
at nakita nyo nang may mga ganitong red flags,
09:26.5
please, huwag nyo nang ituloy
09:28.5
dahil magiging ganito ang ending.
09:31.5
When we went out on a date,
09:33.5
he left the keys in his car.
09:40.5
And then he just started doing this,
09:42.5
I have to call, it's expensive.
09:44.5
I have to call the locksmith.
09:47.5
Like, usually, if you're dating a guy,
09:50.5
best foot forward,
09:53.5
kahit maiwan yung keys, okay lang yan.
09:58.5
Iyon, isa lang yun.
09:59.5
Isa yun, nasa nakita ko.
10:01.5
Yung nanliligaw sa akin from our church dun sa Chicago,
10:06.5
binugbong niya, Miss Toni.
10:08.5
Nakita niya lang na tao.
10:10.5
Are you interested in Citadel?
10:11.5
You know she's my girlfriend?
10:13.5
Iyon, red flag na dapat.
10:14.5
Pero at that time, parang,
10:15.5
naiintindihan ko rin sa amin.
10:16.5
I was just jealous.
10:18.5
It's just my jealousy.
10:21.5
So, nagwala sa suse,
10:23.5
binugbog yun ng niligaw sa'yo.
10:25.5
Isa pang major red flag na napansin mo?
10:28.5
I caught him cheating on me.
10:29.5
Nakita ko yung phone niya.
10:33.5
Alam mo yung password?
10:35.5
It kept on ringing.
10:36.5
He's just right there.
10:38.5
Laying on the couch, yung recliner.
10:40.5
Nagre-ring sa my coffee table.
10:43.5
Kinuha ko, hindi niya pinipick up.
10:45.5
Jenny is the name.
10:47.5
And he told me his ex-girlfriend,
10:49.5
ex-living partner's name is Jenny.
11:00.5
It's nothing, you know.
11:01.5
Text messages came on coming in.
11:03.5
What? No password.
11:04.5
That's his mistake, not mine.
11:11.5
O paano mo siya kinonfront nun?
11:13.5
I just tapped him in the back.
11:15.5
I'm not the kind of person that's...
11:18.5
Here's your phone.
11:27.5
It's just a mistake.
11:28.5
I said, just leave.
11:30.5
The next day, funeral home na naman ang bahay ko.
11:33.5
Flowers na naman.
11:34.5
Thousands of dollars na yun.
11:35.5
Every day may flowers.
11:39.5
After dating him for 11 months,
11:43.5
He proposed marriage.
11:45.5
Two days after the marriage,
11:47.5
asked me for my bank account
11:50.5
to pay for all his debts.
11:52.5
Binigay ko bank account ko.
11:54.5
Kano utang niya nang na-discover mo?
11:58.5
But the credit cards,
12:03.5
plus he took out a loan from his house,
12:05.5
like mga 30s or something.
12:07.5
I paid off all his credit cards.
12:10.5
Kailan lumabas yung tunay niyang ugali
12:12.5
na nagpakasal kayo.
12:14.5
Isa-isa nang lumalabas yung baho.
12:17.5
So may utang, pinakasalam mo.
12:19.5
Paano napunta sa domestic abuse?
12:22.5
Kapapanganak ko sa daughter ko.
12:24.5
Hindi ako pinuntahan sa hospital, Miss Toni.
12:27.5
He just dropped me off.
12:29.5
Nauna pang dumalaw yung brother-in-law ko.
12:32.5
I gave birth at 9 o'clock at night.
12:35.5
He came back to the hospital
12:41.5
I want something.
12:42.5
I don't want hospital food.
12:44.5
Saan sa pumunta nung nanganak ka?
12:46.5
I just found out.
12:49.5
He cheated on me.
12:51.5
Habang nanganak ka?
12:55.5
Because when you're a mother,
12:59.5
Because I have a baby now.
13:01.5
I need a father for my baby.
13:03.5
Iniwan niya kami sa apartment ko sa Chicago.
13:05.5
Diba nandun ako sa Chicago?
13:07.5
May sarili siyang bahay niya.
13:09.5
Intuition kicked in.
13:10.5
Bakit hindi pa siya umuuwi?
13:12.5
He would always say,
13:13.5
I'm going to play games.
13:15.5
You can play games dito sa apartment ko.
13:18.5
The Xbox is in my house.
13:20.5
I'll drive to my house.
13:21.5
I know the address of his house.
13:23.5
Miss Toni wala pa nung Google, Google.
13:25.5
Print it out ko lang.
13:29.5
Pagdating ko doon,
13:33.5
hindi nag-open yung pin.
13:38.5
Nanginginig kasi ako.
13:39.5
Nanginginig kasi ako eh.
13:40.5
Inaano ko yung susi.
13:42.5
Binuwat niya ako.
13:46.5
Why are you not letting us in?
13:49.5
Go back into your car.
13:50.5
Go back home to Chicago.
13:51.5
Go back to your place.
13:56.5
the light turned on
13:57.5
upstairs in our bedroom.
14:01.5
there's someone there.
14:02.5
Siyempre nagwala na ako.
14:04.5
Pag nagwala na ako,
14:05.5
binalik niya ako sa car ko.
14:07.5
Pinaalis niya ako.
14:09.5
Tumawag siya ng polis.
14:10.5
He's the one who called the police on me.
14:12.5
And he told the police,
14:13.5
she doesn't want to leave.
14:15.5
And then she told the girl,
14:16.5
she's just my ex,
14:21.5
I'm the wife at that time.
14:22.5
And then the police said,
14:24.5
do you have a marriage contract?
14:27.5
yeah, we're married.
14:28.5
I know we're married.
14:29.5
And this is our daughter.
14:32.5
tinanong ng polis sa kanya,
14:34.5
sir, do you know this woman?
14:35.5
No, I don't know her.
14:36.5
As soon as he said no,
14:40.5
I hate him for denying my daughter.
14:42.5
He can deny me that I'm his wife,
14:44.5
but denying that it's our daughter,
14:46.5
that is something already.
14:48.5
Ba't hindi mo pa siya iniwan nung time na yun?
14:54.5
kinausap ko pa yung babae sa bintana.
14:58.5
What are you doing up there?
15:01.5
Bumalik na ako ng Chicago,
15:03.5
sinabi ko sa parents niya,
15:05.5
your son cheated on me,
15:06.5
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
15:07.5
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
15:09.5
Pagpunta niya ng Chicago,
15:10.5
ayoko siyang balikan.
15:12.5
Binato niya na ako.
15:14.5
binato niya ako ng box ng Kleenex.
15:16.5
Pagbato niya sa akin,
15:20.5
Natakot na ako noon.
15:21.5
Tapos kinuha niya yung daughter ko.
15:23.5
He kidnapped Cherry
15:28.5
Noon na, sinasaktan niya na ako.
15:30.5
He would slap me.
15:31.5
Say, never do this.
15:33.5
Pag nasaktan ka pala, Miss Toni,
15:35.5
no matter how strong you are,
15:37.5
hindi ka makalabas.
15:39.5
nagugulat ka pala.
15:42.5
nag-freeze yung katawang mo.
15:43.5
Tapos, ang mararamdaman mo is,
15:47.5
Balik na naman tayo dun sa dati.
15:49.5
I'm not worthy of anything.
15:52.5
Ano yung pinakamalalang episode niya sa'yo?
15:55.5
Makikita mo yung mga peklat ka dito, Miss Toni?
15:59.5
I can show you a lot of scars.
16:01.5
Anong ginagawa niya sa'yo?
16:03.5
He would put his leg up here in my chest.
16:08.5
Di ba, laki-laki yung hida niya.
16:12.5
Idadigan niya sa'yo.
16:18.5
Tapos, susuntokin ka niya.
16:20.5
And on my brains,
16:26.5
I have a lot of brain injuries.
16:28.5
And I have a problem with my hearing.
16:32.5
Yeah, with my hearing.
16:35.5
He's six foot four.
16:40.5
I'm five foot three.
16:42.5
Alam mo ba, pag binubog-bog niya ako, Miss Toni,
16:44.5
parang demonyo yung itsura niya.
16:49.5
Tapos, duduraan-duraan ka sa mukha.
16:52.5
Miss Toni, dinuduraan.
16:53.5
Habang ako, binubog mo para akong baboy.
16:56.5
May sasabihin niya sa'yo,
17:00.5
You're just an Asian bitch.
17:04.5
Alam niyo yung mga Tagalog,
17:05.5
you're a pok-pok-pok.
17:11.5
Everything that I'm not.
17:20.5
Hindi puro black eye ka?
17:23.5
Paano yan sa work?
17:24.5
Ah, pumasok ako minsan.
17:25.5
May black eye ako.
17:26.5
Nakasandases ako.
17:28.5
naglalaro ng baseball yung anak ko.
17:32.5
Tumama sa'kin yung bola.
17:33.5
Eh di black eye nga naman.
17:34.5
You know what he does?
17:35.5
Kasi I work in the ER.
17:37.5
sometimes with case managers.
17:39.5
He would just surprise me in the ER.
17:41.5
He would show off.
17:43.5
The thing with narcissistic people is,
17:45.5
they wanna look good.
17:46.5
In front of others.
17:47.5
In front of others.
17:50.5
He would wear a suit and tie.
17:52.5
Siyempre paninuwala.
17:53.5
Tapos may dalang flowers,
18:00.5
Tapos may dalang alahas,
18:05.5
Kailangan excited ka, Miss Toni.
18:10.5
Hindi ka excited?
18:11.5
Hindi ako excited.
18:12.5
Anong ginawa mo lang na reaction?
18:14.5
Why are you here?
18:16.5
Ungrateful bitch.
18:18.5
Pagdating ko ng bahay,
18:22.5
Siyempre iuuwi ko yun eh.
18:23.5
Isinampal sa'kin yung bouquet ng bulaklak.
18:26.5
Kala mo ba pera yung ginagasto sa pagbigay ng bulaklak?
18:30.5
Lahat ng pang-show off,
18:32.5
Nag-tayo kami ng mga businesses,
18:34.5
wala naman siyang alam sa businesses.
18:36.5
Nakakuha ako ng mga contracts sa government,
18:40.5
everything legal.
18:41.5
I worked so hard for that.
18:43.5
Lahat ng mga businesses namin sa'kin,
18:46.5
Tapos nag-make ako ng presentation sa mga governor's office.
18:51.5
Citadel, you have to mention my name.
18:53.5
Name the business under Jones.
18:56.5
So all of our businesses is under Jones,
18:59.5
Kinulong niya kami sa mga closet,
19:01.5
pati mga anak niya.
19:03.5
Hindi niya kami pinakain.
19:05.5
Pinumbugbog niya kami.
19:08.5
Naglakad kami sa snow nang walang sapatos
19:12.5
kasi pahihirapan ka.
19:14.5
Yung ito, torture ka lang.
19:16.5
I've never met a man like that.
19:19.5
palalabas siya kanya pag sa snow,
19:21.5
Para kaming bata.
19:22.5
Para kami nasa military.
19:24.5
Tapos kailan kayo papapasupin?
19:26.5
Pag magbe-beg ka na.
19:28.5
He would bring me to another state.
19:29.5
Kasi di ba, Wisconsin is a farm.
19:32.5
It's a dairy farm.
19:35.5
May mga cornfield.
19:36.5
Idadrive ka doon,
19:37.5
papatayin ng ilaw.
19:38.5
Tutorture ka niya doon
19:44.5
Pag sinabing luhod,
19:46.5
Hindi kiss mo yung feet.
19:47.5
Bakit niya papahalit sa paan niya?
19:48.5
Kasi ang tawag niya sa akin,
19:50.5
I'm just an incubator
19:55.5
you're a Filipina.
19:56.5
Filipinas, sabi niya gano'n.
19:58.5
You're just my servant.
20:02.5
Anong ginagawa mo kapag sinasaktan ka niya?
20:05.5
Sinasabi mo ba sa kanya to stop?
20:08.5
if you want him to stop hitting you,
20:16.5
And at one point,
20:19.5
I worked straight for 18 days,
20:21.5
16 hours a day at the hospital.
20:23.5
Just so I could buy him
20:25.5
whatever he wants
20:26.5
because he's always flying
20:28.5
here sa Philippines.
20:30.5
Pinagtayo ko ng business, Miss Toni,
20:32.5
ganyan na kabaliw.
20:33.5
Lahat ng pera ko, Miss Toni, naubos.
20:35.5
Binenta ko lahat ng naipundar kong lupa.
20:38.5
Hindi ka naawa sa sarili mo?
20:40.5
Gusto ko lang, Miss Toni,
20:41.5
kasi may nangmamahal sa akin
20:45.5
if I have a family,
20:47.5
di ba gusto lang naman natin
20:49.5
magkaroon tayo ng pamilya,
20:51.5
yung atin, matatawag nating atin?
20:53.5
Gusto ko kasing bumuo noon.
20:55.5
I didn't have a perfect family.
20:58.5
pag ako lumaktas,
21:00.5
magtatrabaho ako, Miss Toni.
21:02.5
Tapos ang gusto ko,
21:04.5
buong pamilya masaya.
21:06.5
Pangarap ko lang, Miss Toni,
21:10.5
Kaya lagi kong hinu-hope.
21:11.5
Alam mo, pag nandun ka,
21:12.5
kahit pagbubugin ka,
21:14.5
lagi kong sinasabi sa mga anak ko
21:15.5
pag binububug ako,
21:16.5
tomorrow is another day.
21:18.5
We're going to survive this.
21:19.5
Did you know what my ex-husband
21:20.5
told me in court, Miss Toni?
21:22.5
Sabi niya sa akin,
21:26.5
No one else is going to love you
21:29.5
I'm the only one who's capable
21:32.5
And I believed that
21:35.5
Kaya nga bumabalik ako eh.
21:37.5
Kasi walang tumutulong sa akin, Miss Toni.
21:39.5
Walang humihila sa akin,
21:40.5
walang tumutulong.
21:41.5
So sinong mabalikan ko?
21:43.5
Sinong paniniwala ko
21:44.5
nagmamahal sa akin?
21:46.5
So I'd always go back to him.
21:48.5
Because at the end of the day,
21:50.5
gusto lang naman natin eh
21:52.5
more than anything else.
21:55.5
When finally, 2018,
21:58.5
binugbog niya yung son ko
22:00.5
na ended up in the ER.
22:02.5
Yung firstborn mo?
22:06.5
Putok, putok, putok to.
22:08.5
Yung panganay mo?
22:09.5
Bakit niya binugbog?
22:11.5
If you don't follow what he wants,
22:14.5
So I went to the ER.
22:19.5
Tapos sabi ng doctor,
22:20.5
arm, like, was broken.
22:22.5
And DCFS, yung parang DSWD,
22:25.5
automatic yun sa Amerika eh.
22:27.5
Your husband is an asshole.
22:29.5
Your other two kids
22:30.5
are in the police station.
22:33.5
I have to talk to the police and DCFS.
22:37.5
please forgive him.
22:38.5
Forgive him, we need him.
22:40.5
Because at that time,
22:42.5
I felt like he's the only one
22:44.5
that cares about me.
22:50.5
Bakit ganyan ka mag-isip?
22:53.5
mahal ko sila eh.
22:54.5
Parang nag-overcompensate ako
22:57.5
Kailangan good mother ako.
22:58.5
Pero ginagawa ko,
22:59.5
pero pinakausapan ko ni anak ko.
23:03.5
hihiwalayan ko rin siya.
23:04.5
Huwag mo lang ipakulong kawawa
23:05.5
yung dalawa mong kapatid
23:06.5
pag nakulong siya.
23:08.5
Uwi ka nalang sa Pilipinas.
23:12.5
And then I promised him.
23:15.5
what you told me?
23:17.5
you're going to leave him
23:26.5
kinuha ko yung dalawang kapatid.
23:28.5
And at that time,
23:30.5
Yun na rin yung naging turning point.
23:31.5
And then he asked,
23:33.5
I will let you go.
23:34.5
I have your naked pictures.
23:36.5
Sabi ng asawa mo?
23:40.5
Kaya tama talaga yung sinasabi sa isang,
23:43.5
yung sumbunga ng bayan eh.
23:45.5
huwag mong padadalhan talaga ng ano eh.
23:48.5
Kahit asawa niyo,
23:49.5
huwag kayong magpadala ng naked pictures.
23:52.5
Lesson din yun sa atin
23:55.5
kahit gaano nating kamahalang isang lalaki,
23:57.5
huwag tayong magpadala ng mga litrato
23:59.5
na pwedeng gamitin against us
24:01.5
in the future, no?
24:02.5
Yun ang natutunan ko eh.
24:05.5
Hard lesson learned.
24:07.5
Late na nung nalaman ko.
24:12.5
sunod-sunod ng arrest.
24:14.5
if you buy a house,
24:15.5
I'll let you go and the kids.
24:17.5
I'll sign the divorce
24:18.5
and this and that.
24:22.5
he was in the Philippines.
24:24.5
pre-approval of a house.
24:27.5
Bumili kami ng house.
24:29.5
Pag move namin doon Miss Toni,
24:32.5
he's gonna sign the papers.
24:33.5
Hindi, Miss Toni, sumama.
24:35.5
Doon ang marami akong records.
24:37.5
There are only 30 days in a month
24:40.5
ang police, Miss Toni,
24:41.5
pumupunta sa bahay ko
24:42.5
49 times to up to 54 times.
24:45.5
Bakit pumupunta sa bahay mo?
24:47.5
Ang record ko ng police record
24:48.5
mula nung nag-divorce ako,
24:51.5
Police record na ang pambubugbong niya?
24:54.5
nung mga police sa bahay,
24:55.5
pati pambubugbong.
24:57.5
Anong gusto mong malaman
24:59.5
ng mga babae sa story mo?
25:01.5
Kasi marahil merong mga babae na
25:03.5
nandyan sa ganyang sitwasyon
25:04.5
or may mga babae na papunta
25:06.5
sa ganyang sitwasyon.
25:07.5
Anong gusto mong sabihin sa kanila?
25:14.5
Never be ashamed.
25:16.5
Never be embarrassed
25:17.5
that you're going through that.
25:19.5
Hindi ka dapat mahiya
25:21.5
na nabubugbong ka.
25:23.5
And to all the people,
25:25.5
I'm appealing na sana naman,
25:27.5
dun sa may mga alam na may mga binububog,
25:33.5
Be extra kind to us.
25:35.5
Be extra compassionate.
25:37.5
Napakadaling sabihin,
25:38.5
eh ba't di ka kasi agad lumabas?
25:40.5
Eh ba't hindi mo kasi agad hiniwala yan?
25:43.5
Tapos pag na-take an advantage ka naman
25:45.5
yung nire-rep ka sabihin,
25:46.5
eh ba't di ka sumigaw?
25:47.5
Eh ba't hindi ka humingi ng tulong?
25:48.5
Ba't di ka tumakbo?
25:50.5
Napakadaling sabihin,
25:52.5
pag nasa abroad ka,
25:53.5
walang mag-aalaga ng mga anak mo,
25:58.5
wala kang pamilyang mapuntahan,
26:02.5
In my case, Miss Toni,
26:04.5
wala kasi ako napuntahan eh.
26:07.5
we'll pray for you.
26:11.5
Hindi naman yun okay eh.
26:13.5
So ang tanong nila,
26:14.5
paano ka nakaalis sa ganyang buhay?
26:16.5
Paano mo naitabuyod yung sarili mo?
26:18.5
Because now you have multiple businesses.
26:21.5
Naging successful ka,
26:22.5
nag-flourish ang career mo.
26:25.5
nag-meet ako ng mga bigating tao,
26:27.5
ng mga tao na hindi ko inaakalang mam-meet ko sa buhay ko.
26:32.5
Nang wala akong pera sa bulsa ko,
26:37.5
tsaka pagsisikap.
26:39.5
para sa mga anak ko,
26:41.5
Masakit nga lang,
26:42.5
kasi yung nagtiwala pa sa iyo,
26:43.5
yung mga taong hindi mo,
26:45.5
yung hindi mo ka mag-anak.
26:47.5
Ito kasi yung story mo,
26:48.5
is a story of redemption,
26:50.5
and how you can turn your life around
26:52.5
despite of everything that you've been through
26:54.5
and you went through.
26:56.5
No matter how painful,
27:02.5
kaya mong baguhin ang buhay mo.
27:04.5
Kasi yun ang nagawa mo.
27:05.5
To think na you went back from zero,
27:08.5
tapos na-rebuild mo yung sarili mo.
27:10.5
But healing is a lifelong process,
27:12.5
lalo na kapag the deeper the pain,
27:13.5
the longer the healing.
27:16.5
you're going through therapy.
27:17.5
That's what my therapist said.
27:18.5
It's a lifelong process.
27:21.5
Laging may triggers,
27:23.5
You live with the trauma.
27:24.5
That's the side effect of the abuse.
27:28.5
Pero dito natin makakita na
27:30.5
habang linalakad niya yung healing journey,
27:34.5
nare-rebuild niya yung sarili niya
27:36.5
and she's able to put up businesses
27:41.5
So ang iisipin nila,
27:42.5
ang tatanungin nila,
27:43.5
paano niya nagawa yun?
27:45.5
Try to connect with the people
27:52.5
kung saan ka nagmula,
27:53.5
na kilalang-kilala ka,
27:54.5
the person that you are.
27:55.5
Hindi yung sisita dahil na nabugbog na,
27:57.5
kung ano-ano nang nangyari.
27:59.5
I reconnected with them.
28:01.5
That was the start.
28:02.5
And I was lucky enough
28:04.5
na hindi na ako nagsisik ng validation
28:06.5
from other people, Ms. Toni.
28:09.5
It's okay kung pangit ka sa paningin ng iba.
28:13.5
It's okay kung wala kang mga kaibigan,
28:15.5
kung iniwan ka nila.
28:16.5
And I have found,
28:18.5
dun sa lahat ng mga naiwan sa akin,
28:21.5
it only takes one person in our lifetime
28:24.5
to believe in us,
28:26.5
to give their faith in us,
28:28.5
para we can feel so invincible again.
28:31.5
Ikaw naman sa sarili mo,
28:33.5
anong natutunan mo sa lahat ng pinagdaanan mo?
28:36.5
Anong na-discover mo kay Citadel?
28:40.5
matibay at matapal.
28:43.5
Citadel, my name is a fortress.
28:46.5
It's a stronghold.
28:47.5
I will only answer to God and to my children.
28:52.5
Kasi yung mga anak ko,
28:53.5
alam nila yung storya ng buhay namin.
29:29.5
pa intriga na ako,
29:33.5
barely ako ang kinakita ko.
29:35.5
Daano pa nila siya?
29:37.5
Nakapagalipas ako ng akini,
29:38.7
Only one thing that I believe in
29:42.5
is one that I can buy myself.
29:45.5
Thank you for watching!
