Couples Who Don't Want Kids Play a Lie Detector Drinking Game | Filipino | Rec•Create
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I'm Conrad Edward Raymundo.
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My name is Jello Cruz.
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And we've been married since 2020.
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One year and four months.
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We're recently engaged.
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We've been together for almost four years.
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I've always been adamant not to have kids,
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even, I think, as early as I was 14.
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It's just something that was not appealing to me.
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Before po talaga,
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parang na-foresee ko yung self ko na maging mother.
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Pero sobrang hirap ng buhay ngayon.
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Parang hindi ko afford na magkaroon ng anak.
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Then later on in life,
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pagka nagsimula ka ng mag-work and all,
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parang marirealize mo,
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ang hirap pala ng buhay.
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So we'd rather just do what we want to do,
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travel, and enjoy our lives.
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And he actually got a vasectomy two years ago.
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Basically, naano lang yung fact na hindi ka mag-anak.
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Ayokong maulit yung history
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or yung mangyayari sa parents ko.
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Gusto ko yung wants and needs nung magiging anak ko,
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if ever, is mabigay ko sa kanya.
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Today, we're going to test your relationship.
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With a lie detector and a set of question cards.
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Jack and Poy tayo kung sino mauuna.
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Do you dislike kids?
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Nakakakaba yung--
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Gusto ko naman ng kids ah.
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It's not that I dislike kids.
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I'm actually fond on being with kids.
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Nakikita ko naman po kasi yun sa kanya.
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Kasi I do have two siblings pa po.
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Yung mga pinsan din naman ako na bata pa and all.
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Pag nasa bahay po siya, may kipag-interact naman sa mga kapatid ko.
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Okay sila to have with you for a certain moment in time lang.
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Pero parang at the end of the day,
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gusto mo umuwi na walang challenges.
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So I guess siguro yun lang yun.
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Have you ever felt like you're missing out
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when you see a happy family with kids?
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Aray ko putangina.
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I don't think there has ever been
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joyful moment in my life where
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I thought, hey kids could make this better.
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Currently kasi we have five cats eh.
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And we treat them as our kids.
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So I don't feel that I'm missing out.
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Hindi kasal yung parents ko.
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Tapos they tried na bumalik pero di pa rin talaga kinaya.
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So kapag nakakakita ako ng mga family na
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parang nag-hangout sila,
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nag-family date sila,
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meron sa part ko na
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what if ganun yung family ko?
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Galing ako sa broken family.
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Pag may mga nakikita ako ng mommy, daddy.
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Yung mga scenarios sa buhay ko.
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Parang ganun lang siguro.
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Do you ever worry about being lonely in the future?
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Kasi nga nag-recalibrate siya.
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Siguro lonely when it comes,
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Siyempre, growing up din na separated yung parents.
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In a way, parang ayoko rin talagang mag-isa.
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Hindi ko gets yung concept na mag-anak ka kasi
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walang mag-aalaga sa'yo.
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Ayoko pong gawing investment yung anak ko na parang
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mag-aalaga sa'kin pag matanda, ganyan.
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I'd be okay being alone other than be lonely
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and with have a kid.
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If all our problems are magically solved,
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would you consider having kids then?
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Kunyari, problema natin, pera.
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Nanalo tayo sa lotto.
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Imagine lahat ng problems mo na-solve.
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Edi all goods na yun, diba?
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Kasi once na ma-solve na namin lahat ng problems namin ngayon,
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mas merong kaming headspace tsaka freedom to do whatever we want.
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So travel and everything.
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Kung ma-solve namin lahat ng problems namin,
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mas magagawa namin lahat ng gusto namin gawin.
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Kahit naman na wala tayong problema,
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I don't think having a kid would still be on the table.
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Hindi lang naman problema natin ang iniisip, may problema rin tayo sa society.
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Kasi what if magkaroon ako ng anak
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tapos gantong klase yung government, economy yung magdadadlan nila.
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Lalo lang silang magsasuffer.
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So that doesn't necessarily mean that we should have kids.
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If one day, nagbago isip ko pero ayaw mo pa rin magka-anak,
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will you break up with me?
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Actually, magandang question.
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No. I think I would lean towards na okay sa akin.
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Siguraduhin mo lang na tama yan.
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Huwag kasing kakabaka ba.
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Yan gusto ko sa'yo eh.
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Kasi feeling ko--
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Okay naman ako mag-adopt.
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Hindi naman ako yung nag-i-impose ng sarili ko.
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When it comes to a time na gusto niya magkaroon ng kids,
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feeling ko naman, kaya ko naman mag-adjust.
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Ako kasi, gusto ko naka-plan niyan.
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Ko-consider ko yung gusto niya.
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Pero titimbangin ko muna yung sitwasyon.
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Kilala na namin yung isa't isa.
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So, if mag-decide man siya na gusto niya magka-anak,
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okay lang din naman.
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Kasi syempre, pagka sa relationship naman,
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it's about compromise na.
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Parang mag-me-meet kami somewhere na okay kami both.
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I don't think I would ever break up with you.
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Even though na we had a mutual agreement naman,
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it doesn't really change the fact that I want to spend my life with you.
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Di laging sagot ang break up.
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It's not an option for me to break up.
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So, kahit man mabago yung isip mo sa gusto mong magka-anak,
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I'll support you.
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So, pwede tayo mag-adopt?
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Kung nabuntis tayo, would you be disappointed?
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I mean, it's impossible, pero...
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Parang kinakabahan din ako.
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Parang lahat kinukuryente tayo.
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Madi-disappoint ka?
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I'd be heartbroken.
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It's a situation wherein our current society does not give me a choice with.
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So, it's something that I don't want,
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and I'd have no choice legally to get out of that situation.
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Depende kung ano yung estado ng buhay natin.
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Studying pa siya eh.
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So, kung ngayon, oh, madi-disappoint siguro.
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Vasectomized na kasi siya.
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Wanting to have kids will not be parang possible for us anymore.
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And yung reason din naman kasi for me choosing vasectomy,
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it's something more easier for the couple to do, diba?
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Upon doing research, it doesn't really affect me.
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For women kasi, it's an open surgery pa.
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So, mas matagal yung healing process.
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So, for me, the best option talaga is yung vasectomy,
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which is hindi masyadong kinong consider ng mga kalalakehan.
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After nun, at least confident ka na safe all the time.
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Actually, nangyari na yan.
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Diba nagkaroon na nga?
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Pregnancy scare before.
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Hindi naman ako natakot kasi mas natuwa pa ako na,
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oh, I'm gonna be a Dad.
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Ayun, hindi naman nangyari.
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Ask them anything that can be answered with a yes or no.
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Napapaisip pa ako.
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If I didn't decide to have a vasectomy, would you decide to have a ligation?
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It's a mutual decision din talaga to not have kids
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and I want something na permanent.
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If hindi naman siya magpapapa vasectomy, magpapaligate ako.
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And it's a possibility for me, no?
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Medyo worried siya sa akin.
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So, big step talaga.
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I love him for that.
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Paano pag sinabi ng family mo na, or ng family ko na,
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mag-anak tayo, tingin mo, susunod tayo or hindi?
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Kasi open naman ako kay mama at papa.
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Like, sinasabi ko talaga na wala akong plano.
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In the long run, tayo rin mahirapan, if ever.
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Nasa satin pa rin yung huling ama-decision ba?
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If ever, mabuntis ako ngayon,
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would you be happy or be disappointed?
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Pag eto, pag yan nag-ano.
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Oh, hindi ka magiging happy?
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Papalaking ko na mag-isa yung bata?
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Siyempre naman, magiging happy ako kasi
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magkakaroon tayo ng child together,
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bibigyan tayo ng chance ni God na magkaroon ng child.
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Mamahalin ko pa rin siya.
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Mas gusto kong i-brought up siya sa isang world na
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meron siyang complete family,
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na mahal siya parehas ng parents niya.
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Satisfied na ako.
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Do you think we'll live a happy life?
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Napakadelikada naman niyang ano mo.
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Oh my God! Ayaw sa akin.
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I don't have any doubts.
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Kasi we started with nothing,
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and we're climbing our way up.
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It's always going to be an uphill battle, yes.
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We'd make it work.
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No matter what comes our way.
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Do you ever worry that you'll regret our decision?
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I think hindi naman.
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Pano, pano, pano?
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Nag-mature na rin kami dito sa relationship na to.
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So, etong big decision na to,
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I don't think na pagsisisihan ko siya in the long run pa.
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Pagtumanda pa kami.
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I think mas isi-savor ko yung moment namin together.
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Kami yung tipo ng tao na parang mas career talaga yung inuuna.
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Especially ako kasi I do have siblings pa
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na inako ko na rin yung responsibility na pag-aralin sila.
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Doon ko na lang din ibubuhos yung life ko sa kanila
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kasi parang mga anak ko na rin po eh.
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Maybe people who had opinions about our lives
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na baka children would make us fulfilled.
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Because we'll never know.
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That's not to say that it's not a valid choice to have kids.
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But it's also a valid choice to not want kids.
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And I probably know that there's a possibility of regretting
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but I'd rather risk that regret than having children
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and then regretting to have them.
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Usually kasi sa culture natin diba
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ang point ng life is to get married and have kids
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and let them grow up and grow old and everything.
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Sabi nila, bata ka pa kasi, di ka pa kasi kinakasal
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kaya hindi mo pa talaga masasabi kung ayaw mo magkaroon ng anak.
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I would say mas woke ngayon yung generation
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Na parang i-choose.
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Parang mas mag-focus sa sabi nila right now.
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Being a responsible citizen na rin.
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Pag alam natin hindi pa tayo financially, emotionally and mentally stable,
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Wag lang anak ng anak dahil gusto lang
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or feel niyo lang
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or dahil honeymoon season or what.
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Just live your life, do whatever you want, make yourself happy.
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Yun yung pinaka-goal naman talaga ng life.
